But I think we’re afraid. Afraid of being infected by the sins of


others. Afraid of not telling people “the truth” and letting them live in sin. Afraid of creating a kind of moral relativity in the church that could harm people. And I get those fears. I can articulate some of them, because


they are also mine. But operating out of fear is killing people’s experience of you as a follower of Jesus—and their experience at your church. If you’re afraid of being infected by other people’s sin, they will


always feel you keep them at arm’s length. Your eyes, words, or lack of warmth will always feel like a spotlight on their inferiority. If you are afraid of moral relativity, you will become so


dogmatic in defining correct behavior that you’ll start to see everyone else as a heretic. Instead of turning people toward the warm, open-hearted love of Jesus, you’ll project only a cold castle of your own construction. Others will see you up on the walls looking down on them. Tey’ll feel the looming danger of getting attacked if they venture too close. Your fear will turn each person God longs to save into an


outsider. An enemy. Te only way they can ever get into your warmth and acceptance is to earn it through behavior that you approve of. Maybe we’ve been wrong about a lot.


What We Really Want From Others Te gray clouds loom low over southern California. Tere’s a storm coming in. I’m sitting, writing, at a coffee shop. I meet a lot of people at coffee shops. I’m thinking about how someone might sit across from me and protest: “You’re saying that we’re called to love people, but isn’t it also loving to tell people that something is harming them? I would want someone to do the loving thing and tell me!” It’s an important question. But at this point in my life, I’d tell


you that I don’t think you really want that. I think what you really want is for someone to love you well enough to really know you. I think you want someone to really see you. I think you want that person’s heart to be like Jesus’: full of grace, compassion, patience, and loyal love (Exod. 34:6). I think you want to know that they love you just as you are.


And then—after the safety, after the friendship, after the trust, after all of that—you’d want this person to appropriately call attention to the places in your life that they know are in need of healing.


WWW .A T OD A Y . OR G 19


Open-Hearted Invitations Maybe, instead of highlighting “lifestyle,” Adventists could have open hearts and invitations. What if someone’s experience of walking into your church were just open hearts and open arms? (Not only at the door from a greeter, but from you.) What if you invited that person to have lunch with you aſterward? What if it didn’t faze you when people share a piece of their


lives that doesn’t match with Adventist lifestyle? What if they felt as if you saw them as your equal? What if they didn’t know what you believed for a while? How neat if they just knew that you liked them! What if the only invitation they experienced from you for a while was an invitation into your presence? And what if one day, because of the open-hearted way you’ve


approached your relationship with these individuals, God invites you to be part of what He’s doing in their life? Here’s where invitations—better invitations, open-hearted


ones—come in: n You are invited into a surrendered, trusting relationship with


the One who made you and knows you, to act on that rest and trust by keeping the Sabbath, to trust God with your financial stability by giving a portion of your income as an act of worship. n You are invited to use the good giſts God has given you,


whether it be financial resources, healthy food, your status or position, or your time. n You are invited to live in greater alignment with the way


your body and mind were created, to pay attention to what content you take in and to assess how it impacts your emotional and spiritual health, to eat and drink in a way that supports a healthy body and mind. What if, when we share these Adventist lifestyle principles, we


are also quick to say that the ways to live in them are varied? Tat each person will have different convictions within the boundaries of those principles. Maybe I’m wrong about a lot. But I’ve seen the fruits of open- hearted invitations, and I have to say, I like them.


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