The Never Alone Project
Providing support for those who feel most alone
T e loss of three of the most important people in her and her children’s lives, all within just a few months of one another, drove Ilze Lee to make a promise that led to the formation of an organisation that has transformed other people’s lives. T e Never Alone Project came about out of heartbreak,
a time that saw Ilze and her children deal with their grief head on, and which has helped so many others do the same over the years. In the fi rst of a series of three articles in collaboration
with TC Group Business Advisors and Accountants, Ilze Lee explains how TNAP began.
When people ask me how T e Never Alone Project began,
I often pause. T e truth is it didn’t start with a grand idea, a business plan, or a strategic vision. It started with heartbreak. I was with my dad when he took his last breath. It's a
sacred, painful experience to witness the end of a life, to hold someone’s hand as they leave this world. Losing a parent is a fear we all carry somewhere inside us, but when it happens, the reality is shattering. What I never imagined was that just nine days later, I would also lose my brother. T e news broke me. In the months that followed, I couldn’t process what
had happened. T e grief became relentless, with night- mares so vivid I feared going to sleep. And then came another blow. Only a few months later,
Ilze Lee with her children
my children’s father, Simon, died unexpectedly. He was young, and his passing left us all reeling. I still remember the hours between hearing the news and having to tell my children, who were just eight and eleven at the time. It remains the hardest thing I’ve ever done. T eir faces as they heard the words are etched permanently into my heart. It was then I made a promise: my children and I would
deal with this grief head-on. I would do everything in my power to minimise its impact on their futures. But when we searched for support, there was very
little available. Waiting lists were long. Services were out of county. Sometimes it was a phone call with a stranger, with no continuity of care. We felt desperately alone. One day, a kind friend sent my daughter a children’s
book about loss. It was beautifully written, telling the story of an old tree dying and explaining the circle of life. But my daughter fl ung it across the room, shouting, ‘My dad wasn’t a tree!’. Her reaction said everything: the resources available simply didn’t meet the raw reality of what children actually go through. T at was the spark. Together, we wrote a children’s
book, Upside Down, Downside Up, to help young people make sense of grief. At the same time, I immersed myself in learning everything I could about bereavement, eventually completing a Grief Recovery programme. Becoming an Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist was
the next step, and once word spread, people began turning to me. First it was parents from my children’s school, then teachers, then other schools across the county. Soon it was the police, social workers, church leaders and other families. T e demand grew so quickly that I couldn’t ignore it. T at’s how TNAP was born. From the beginning, it has been about walking along-
side people through the darkest days of their lives. In our fi rst year, we supported more than 150 people, and it soon became clear, I couldn’t carry the load alone.
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