16 Clitheroe Adveiiiser & Times, March 21st, 1991• ^lWBBLESDALE'1 1 farminQ.scene I WORKS BETTER FOR YOU! N O T H I N G


0% C R E D IT O N A L L F O R D A G R IC U L T U R A L T R A C T O R S D U R IN G M A R C H & A P R IL .


N o w w e ’v e m a d e p a y i n g f o r y o u r n e w F o r d t r a c t o r e v e n e a s i e r


w i t h a n a t t r a c t i v e p a c k a g e o f 0 % f i n a n c e p l a n s t h r o u g h F o r d C r e d i t . N o t h i n g w o r k s b e t t e r f o r y o u t h a n a F o r d t r a c t o r , e s p e c i a l l y a t 0 %


c r e d i t . B u t h u r r y ! T h i s o f f e r c l o s e s o n A p r i l 3 0 t h , 1 9 9 1 , s o c o n t a c t u s t o d a y .


T H E B I R T H O F E N T E N T E C O R D I A L E


“NOW. .. what does the number 175 mean?” asked Theresa.


our hill farm for a fortnight and “the number 175” was a large Friesian heifer, prostrate in the field in the throes of giving birth to her first calf.


Theresa was a 13-year-old German girl staying on


— much less to one giving birth — and the process was arousing as much interest in her as the World Cup football final had in her father Alfans back at home in Munich.


Theresa had never been so near to a cow in her life


of calving cows. To the farmer, that usually comes on “his” side of the definite dividing line of “his” and


It’s not often that farmers’ wives are left in charge


T h e s e f in a n c e p la n s a re a v a i la b le fo r fa rm in g , lo c a l a u th o r i t ie s , a g r ic u l tu r a l a n d h o r t ic u l tu r a l b u s in e s s e s o n ly in E n g la n d , S c o t la n d a n d W a le s , s u b je c t to s ta tu s , a n d c r e d i t a g re em e n t b e in g s ig n e d b y A p r i l 3 0 th 1991.


' OWNSON


1RACTORS LTD. West End, Hellifield, Skipton BD23 4HE Tel. 072 95 374; Fax 072 95315


“hers” jobs. “His” usually include anything needing strength,


______________________


know-how and a bit of daring, while “hers” include acting as a mobile gate while something four-footed hurtles past, or “just ho’d this” when she approaches with a welcome brew as he tackles some huge piece of machinery with a spanner, or dashing off at 20 seconds’ notice to the agricultural stores for a male and female coupling part and squirming when the assistant asks her to repeat her whispered request.


can certainly be cussed — but something deep in the bovine intellect usually warns them not to give birth when they can only rely on the ministrations of the farmer’s wife and a teenage German town-dweller.


But back to 175 in the maternity meadow. Cows


W H A T W I L L Y O U R S I L A G E C O S T ?


POLLUTION FINES UP


T h e m a x im u m f i n e f o r p o l l u t i o n h a s b e e n i n c r e a s e d t e n f o ld t o £ 2 0 , 0 0 0 . T h a t is w h a t


m a g i s t r a t e s c a n n o w im p o s e w h e n s o m e o n e is f o u n d g u i l t y o f p o l l u t i n g r i v e r s , s t r e a m s o r u n d e r g r o u n d w a t e r s u p p l i e s .


o r w i l l y o u u s e T H E p r o v e n s i l a g e a b s o r b e n t ?


D u g d a le s W /S ST


PROVED PROVED


PROVED


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T e le p h o n e : ( 0 2 0 0 ) 2 7 2 1 1 . F a x 0 2 0 0 2 8 9 7 5


exception. The farmer was milking and unavailable. Theresa and I were. We surveyed number 175 . . . and between her contractions she surveyed us


Number 175 — you’ve guessed it — was the


back. “It has the big feet,” said Theresa, gazing in


■ autumn, reporter Kaye Moon, the wife of a Ribble Valley hill farmer, was


NEXT year sees the Common Market dropping its barriers . . . but last


Theresa was fascinated by that and strained to see up 175’s rear end. But 175 was having none of that and a swift


lash from a powerful back leg brought a string of Teutonic abuse as Theresa stepped smartly back. She carried on a constant conversation with the coming calf (as if a Dutch Friesian would understand Ger­ man!), but I was beginning to worry. The big calf seemed stuck and the head and tongue were begin­ ning to swell.


action, or we would end up with a dead calf. “I think I’ll pull the calf,” I told Theresa, who


gazed in astonishment. “Ja?” You could see the surprise. . . pull what,


With a sinking heart, I knew this was the time for i * '


with what, and why on earth, when we were all enjoying things?


started to heave. It was not easy . . . afterbirth leaves you with the leverage of a mud-wrestler and I cursed the weakness of wrist which allows my youn­ gest to beat me at arm-wrestling — with her left


I grabbed hold of the two slimy front feet and hand!


better than riding about on the farm’s three-wheeler motor bike with the Jack Russell perched on the tank and almost beat learning the farmyard words her teacher would never find in any English dictionary. “Is hard work?” she asked, after a few minutes, as


Theresa, by now, was all eyes. This was even


admiration at the protruding hooves from the heifer’s rear end. It certainly had — and the trouble was that “the” big feet were inevitably followed by “the” big head and “t’ he” even bigger shoulders.


calf would be female, as it was a dairy breed. “It is a Friesian — we hope a girl, ja?” I added that a “boy” would have been more profitable in a beef breed.


I tried to explain to Theresa that I hoped the It’s in


i)umfth?anH/r*ftVAlAVanr!ftii!friraUhA!vfthAnA>h}tfi'ft?:P j|ngFrBBphpnop800 833749irounfi


RIBBLE VALLEY farmers' are being/utgod to) teke:aclvant8gB.;of^hBln6w.'8chem.B,tp,;collBpt;!


the Department.ofTrade'and Industry,; as. well.! as* the Agriculture . and Environment Depart- , ments, as an Important contrlbutlon^ttLthe Government’s aim of Improving the country’s recycling performance.


It has already received a warm welcome from/


'blggest;users;of.polythene film; which'goes-j Into products* euch as fertiliser bags,/anegoi sheeting, pallet covering and animal: feed r


Britain’s :agrlculturaFIndustryo Is one? of; the;; v ~ . . . .


want to help? You pull one leg?" “Yurgghh. . . nein!” replied Theresa, looking at


I started to flag. “Yes,” I replied between clenched teeth. “Do you


what my hands were covered in. “You do.” I did. . . my face becoming redder and redder as


J f e


________________________i& M & k THERESA enjoying herself on the Moons’ Throstle Nest I arm


my strength sapped. When the calf finally did come, it shot out with the same thrust as the Boeing which had brought Theresa, depositing me and it in a cow-pat at the feet of a vastly amused teenager.


sigh of relief. . . but wait, the big motionless calf was breathing nothing at all. It looked dead. I squeezed phlegm from its nostrils and mouth, grabbing the nearest piece of rough grass to push up its nos­ trils to induce the involuntary sneeze which brings the first gasp for life.


Number 175 breathed a sigh of relief; I wheezed a


Theresa’s eyes grew rounder. This strange game almost verified the widely-held German belief that all English are mad. But then, relief. . . a sneeze and a snort combined and the young Friesian kick-started


front of 175, who was by now almost interested her­ self to see what all the fuss had been about. Only then did I think to lift the calf's back leg in that extremely intrusive farming way of determining the sex.


into life. I wearily dragged the new offspring round to the


thing. . . this young fellow was never going to grace our milking parlour! I turned to tell Theresa the bad news, but the curious teenager was already at my shoulder and had seen all she needed to. “Ach, scheisse!” came the exclamation . . . and that’s universal in any language!


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H o w t o w e a t h e r t h e f a r m i n g s t o r m


THE new chairman of Lancashire NFU, Mr Tom Cooper, has warned farmers to rationalise their businesses in order to survive the current agricultural recession. Speaking after


.Government or EEC intervention, would be courting disaster. “Farmers must take


taking office, Mr Cooper, an arable farmer at Winwick, said that waiting for an upturn in prices, or


urgent, remedial action themselves, if they are to weather the storm. I believe it is up to us to find ways of cutting costs and adding value to our products.” Mr Cooper advised


his members to co-operate more over


the use of machinery, to reduce the number of outlets and so increase volume of


sales per outlet and to find ways of securing their land by share


farming arrangements that would allow one


party to take outside work or run a farm


shop, while the other had the advantage of


scale. FOR DETAILS OF DISPLAY ADVERTISING CONTACT


GRAHAM ROBBINS on


CLITHEROE 22323


already spreading some entente cordiale by instructing a visiting German teen­ ager on the finer points of calving a cowl


Kaye Moon V


Clitheroe 2232J, (Editor ial), 22323 (Advertising). Burnley 22331 (Classified)


t e a .


*T*T»11v*■- i > y **>-»-:rr- ' S f -• ! : .Yvr-


" warn


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