MEN’S HEALTH


Kelly is, in Codders’ own words, “an amazing woman and inspirational police officer.” Over a full English breakfast, she persuaded Codders to discuss what was needed for the forum to succeed, what it was, and where it was headed. Before he knew it, Codders was Chair. “Having been a #HeForShe


ambassador for a number of years, and having been involved as a critical friend to our women’s network, I kind of had an idea what was involved and even though I wasn’t sure I was the best person to take it on, I did have the collective knowledge of our recent tragic history of loss and I was in,” says Codders. He created a plan and gave ultimatums


to the forum members to “create a full committee and plan of action within six months – or forget it.” Codders became the lead of a forum dedicated to working for TVP male officers, looking out for those suffering from mental health issues, trying to prevent suicide, and standing up to poor male behaviours. The Men’s Forum has a working executive of seven members, including officers, staff, and volunteers. The members have a diverse range of experience, and different ethnic groups are represented. They meet regularly to discuss activity plans, agree engagement events, and confirm and reiterate the mission of supporting any man facing any challenge. “We listen, we support, and together we’re stronger,” declares Codders. In 2022, they supported World Suicide Prevention Day and had nearly 400 conversations with men across three counties about suicide and the impact on families. One committee member revealed he had been talking to someone who had made plans to take their own life, which highlighted the reality of suicide and the need for men to talk about it. “We need, above anything, to make sure that our guys know that there are options, that they are not failures, that they are absolutely deserving of more,” says Codders. He is keen to emphasise that the forum


makes no judgements, and that they are always there to listen and to help if they can. The forum works with The Curtis


Palmer Programme, a police charity. Run by a TVP inspector, it is named after an inspiring Dorset officer who died of a terminal illness some years ago. Curtis jumped out of an aeroplane, even though his tumour had meant he couldn’t talk anymore. The charity runs dynamic breath work and cold water immersion


31 | POLICE | APRIL 2023


courses for officers and staff to help with a range of issues, such as PTSD, anxiety, sleep issues and suicide ideation. To date, more than 400 people across 17 police forces have been supported by this charity partnership. The courses are run virtually, but the sense of togetherness is strong, and the feedback is sensational. “We have had conversations that have brought tears to our eyes, not in sadness, but in utter joy, hearing of one person’s realisation that they can own their voices,” explains Codders. “They can own their challenges, they can speak without shame, guilt, fear, or worry, and become a better person for it – and a much better copper.” The forum tries to think of innovative


ways to reach all men. Last year, they commenced a series of Teams calls called ‘#thekettleisalwayson’. Codders or the Deputy Chair, Simon Hannam, opened up an hour-long Teams call every night for a week and waited for people to join. The take-up was small, but afterwards, Codders and Simon were told men had seen the calls online and, although they hadn’t dialled in, they liked the fact that they were there. This then led to the first podcast under


the same #thekettleisalwayson banner. Three committee members talked to a TVP sergeant who has Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. In his words, he is waiting to “tap out”. During the podcast, they talked about his prognosis, telling his children, facing work, and living with the fact that he will not


live to see many future family milestones. Now, more people are lined up to record more podcasts, addressing lived experiences of suicide, mental health concerns, role modelling, and the importance of being an active ally to women. The forum is made up of passionate men, committed to policing in the best way possible and mindful of the impact that everyday trauma can have on all of us. Regardless of stereotypes, men cry and show vulnerabilities – and can, do and should ask for help. None of these things are signs of weakness, nor do, they make anyone any less of a man, or a worse police officer. TVP is not alone – men’s forums


are being launched all over the UK. A national group has been created under the guidance of ACC Thorne from South Wales Police, which gives them more exposure and credibility. As Codders acknowledges, the forum


had “a clunky start, but a huge chunk of perseverance, and a dose of honesty, has allowed us to become a fixed item within the fabric of TVP with 700 members and growing.”


“If we convince one bloke that suicide is not the answer, if we help one person recover from PTSD and get back to work, and if we can support, educate, and challenge our peers in terms of their behaviours, and prevent bad things from happening, then our legacy will be a good one – and one that I, and the other blokes, can rightly be proud of.”


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