‘‘ T
I want to represent people who look like me, and clear a seat for those that have their own struggles...
“And the Apprentice of the Year Award goes to… Ambreen”
O say I was like a deer caught in headlights would be an
understatement. I had most certainly not prepared myself with
the possibility that I might win. It’s something that happened to other people. I fumbled around in panic trying to unmute myself (it was a virtual event) and offer my thanks for the award. Tripping over my words it was obvious to everyone I had been taken by surprise. My little one waited patiently until I had muted myself again “Mummy did you win?” I could just silently nod whilst he beamed with excitement. I have always thrown myself into as many projects as I could. Simply because I am incredibly passionate about the work I do. I want results. I want change. I want to revolutionise the way all individuals look at public libraries (I know, I know not at all ambitious!). I want to represent people who look like me, and clear a seat for those that have their own struggles and need the microphone passing to. This award recognised my efforts to create and sustain diversity and it really was a morale boost for myself.
Meanwhile, after only just getting confirmation for my Customer Service Officer role, I was again preparing for an interview. A very different interview… for the Librarian role. Did I think I would get it? Don’t be silly, of course not. But I wanted to gain interview experience because although I was positive, I wouldn’t get it this time round, I knew in the foreseeable future I would be a part of the team. To say the preparation for the interview was stressful would be an understatement. As someone who functions with precise information and instructions, I found it difficult navigating the open questions. Every time I tried completing the application,
June 2022
the words just swam around in my neurodivergent head without making any sense. I had the experience, after all, I’d been working alongside the librarians for the past year but putting it to pen and paper was a lot more difficult that I thought it would be. All nine applicants made it through the interview stage. Nine applicants and two vacancies… no pressure at all. For the interview we were asked to present a 10-minute pitch before the official questions. Preparing for the 10 minutes has been one of the hardest things I’ve done in my apprenticeship journey. It wasn’t necessarily a hard pitch; in fact it was quite straight forward but nothing I prepared felt ‘right’.
The night before my interview, 6.30pm in Dewsbury Library, after spending the whole afternoon and evening trying to conjure my vision into the presentation, I took all my notes, threw them in the bin and let my manager know I would be withdrawing. Then I sat in the community room and had a good cry. It wouldn’t have been the end of the world if that’s where it ended. But it didn’t because I’m nothing if not the most stubborn and determined young lady there is. After talking to my manager, the library manager and a fellow colleague turned friend (who was also one of the applicants), I decided as long as I didn’t fail catastrophically, I could deal with it. I was never afraid of failing the interview (in fact I was anticipating it), but it was the idea of under- performing on expectations that left me feeling queasy. It wasn’t the first time I would over-think and overwhelm myself nor the last, so I might as well just get on with it. Throughout that interview the words tumbled out of me, I was impassioned about my projects and work. But I left the interview doubting whether anything I had said was relevant to the questions asked. So, imagine
Ambreen Aziz is an apprentice librarian at Kirklees Libraries
www.kirkleeslibraries.co.uk
my surprise come Monday morning when I received the confirmation call. I remember the first thing I said to my now manager, Sarah Harding, was “Why?”. (Way to shoot yourself in the foot before even starting). Being the youngest member of the team is intimidating. This, of course, is the fault of the librarians (I’m joking… or am I?). They are an incredibly wonderful, welcoming bunch but I’m more than aware of the vast amount of experience and knowledge they possess compared to me. The advantage is, the guidance and array of information at my disposable is immeasurable. Although it’s been quite an adjustment from my apprentice and Customer Service Officer posts, there is no other role I would rather be doing than a librarian. This is what dreams are made of. IP
INFORMATION PROFESSIONAL 47
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