Tell us about your experience with stuttering as a young child. Stuttering was tough during childhood. No one wants to be “different” when bullies are looking for anything to pick on. Having a stutter like mine was akin to painting a target on my back. I can remember reading aloud in the first grade. Other kids would snicker when I couldn’t read very well. I knew every word; I just couldn’t make my mouth say them properly or on demand. I vividly remember being bullied by older kids on the school playground because of my stutter. Later on, I remember choosing to stay silent when called upon in class, even though I knew the answer. Better to pretend I was clueless than be laughed at for my stutter.
Has your stuttering gotten worse or better since you were younger? How? My stuttering has gotten much easier to control as I’ve gotten older. I’ve practiced my public speaking rather than shy away from it. I’ve learned visualization and speaking techniques that helped improve my fluency. Like with anything, familiarity makes things easier. I’ve had to force myself into difficult speaking situations in order to build a level of comfort. The more practice I get, the more comfortable I am, and the easier it is to speak fluently.
How does stuttering affect you in your career? Stuttering has not negatively affected my career. I’ve enjoyed a full and satisfying career in the Marine Corps, and I quite enjoy public speaking these days. Certainly though, there have been periods where my stutter made things quite difficult, like when I went through Marine Corps bootcamp and Officer’s Candidate School. The Drill Instructors were looking for any kind of weakness, and stuttering can be misunderstood as a lack of confidence. They were merciless to me back then for my stutter, but I survived and became stronger. Outside of Marine Corps training, I’ve never been penalized for my stutter. The Marine Corps doesn’t care how I speak; I am valued for doing my job. But my stutter has caused me professional embarrassment. As with most workplaces, it is customary to go around the room and introduce yourself at large meetings and conferences. Not being able to clearly say my full rank and name is embarrassing and sometimes sets the tone for how my peers perceive me initially.
How is your stuttering today? What do you do to control or manage it, if anything? Today I’m more fluent than not. I’m crystal clear about
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who I am. I’m confident in what I know and what I can do. The work I’ve done internally in terms of mindset is vitally important to fluency. I go about my life just like any other person would do; if someone hears me stutter, then they hear me stutter. My stutter does not define me. I’ve also found that active listening lends well to fluency. So many times, I’ve been in a conversation or a meeting and I find myself just waiting for the other person to finish so I can jump in. I’m not really listening to what they’re saying, and my thoughts are jumbled and uncoordinated. Instead, being intentional about active listening allows me to fully understand the conversation and craft a response that adds value rather than filler. That extra pause makes it much easier to be fluent. I also try to avoid situations or certain sounds that I know will cause difficulty. For example, my stutter can be worse in the early mornings before I’ve had a chance to warm up my voice, so I try to schedule meetings or speaking events for later in the day rather than first thing.
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