figure out what kind of emotion you experience most often and if it gets in the way of your selling. Then use simple techniques to work through it, such as saying to yourself, ‘Well, that’s just my style talking right now. I feel angry, but that doesn’t mean that my rights have actually been violated.’” Shatté and his colleagues specialize
in resilience, which he calls a crucial part of successful selling. “Salespeo- ple experience an enormous amount of rejection, so their ability to steer through rejection, stay goal focused, and close the sale is all born of resil- ience,” he explains. “There are three factors of resilience that can build a ‘can-do’ attitude: the way you look at the cause of a problem; self-advocacy – your belief in yourself; and realistic optimism – accurate thinking, not just positive thinking.”
TOO OPTIMISTIC? Over-the-top optimism is often asso- ciated with great success; but, in fact, there is evidence to the contrary. “Our research shows that over- optimists typically aren’t motivated to change the situation – because all they can see is the good. In addition, they are often blindsided by adver- sity,” says Shatté. “On the other hand, pessimists fail to look for what they can do to control a situation.
GET POSITIVE Being aware of your attitude and accepting uncertainty in life can help you achieve a more optimistic and realistic viewpoint, says Christopher J. Anderson, PhD, a professor of psychology. He suggests reading books, taking tests or classes, or using a mentor to gain attitude awareness. He also recommends analyzing how you react in different situations and writing it down.
“Just writing in a journal about your feelings, your actions, and the outcome is a very powerful tool,” he says. “By studying the journal, you may notice patterns. You may also be surprised at how many times you tell yourself negative thoughts.”
However, Anderson says not to expect overnight miracles. “We are a culture that expects fast results,” he says. “Keep in mind the change will be gradual, but gradual change is also more long-lasting.” “Most people get into trouble when they try to change all at once,” agrees Aubrey Daniels, a leading authority on behavioral science in the workplace. “Don’t ask too much of yourself or someone else too soon. “Set many mini-goals,” Daniels explains. “Set goals where the prob- ability of success is high. Start out by saying I will make one sales call by 8 a.m. instead of saying I’m going to make 10 sales calls today. When you’re successful, you’re re-energized; when you’re re-energized, you get more successful.”
THERE IS HOPE Another word for an “I can” mentality is “hope.” “‘Hope’ is defined as being good at generating goals, creating ef- fective pathways to reach those goals, and maintaining agency or motivation to achieve them,” says Diane Dreher, PhD, a professor and research associ- ate in spirituality and health. First, set goals you believe in, says Dreher. “The goals need to be positive, specific, and measurable. Instead of saying to yourself, ‘I want to be successful,’ ask yourself, ‘What does it look like to be successful?’ Establish a clear trajectory of where you want to go.
“Second, use pathways or steps to achieve your goals,” says Dreher. “If you have at least three strong path-
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ways and you run into a roadblock, you can take an alternate route. “Third is agency or motivation,” says Dreher. “To increase your motiva- tion, use positive self-talk and reflect on the last time you overcame an obstacle or succeeded in achieving a goal and focus on how you felt.”
FOCUS ON STRENGTHS According to Seligman, every indi- vidual has the capacity to live a suc- cessful, meaningful life with a sense of purpose. He suggests identifying and honing your strengths. “Trying to fix weaknesses won’t help,” he writes; “rather, incorporating strengths such as humor, originality, and generosity into everyday interactions with people is a better way to achieve happiness.” Dreher agrees. “Most people focus on their weaknesses, and on how they can improve on those,” she says. “Research shows that we be- come successful – as individuals and as organizations – if we focus on our strengths. If we work on our weak- nesses, we can achieve competence; but, if we work on our strengths, we can achieve excellence.”
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