will uphold the rules, and rules make their environment safe and predictable. Seen and heard because we are giving them the brief moment of connection they are asking for by coming to us in the first place.
“I’m getting picked up early today.” Tanks for letting me know.
“I saw them push someone at recess.” Tanks for letting me know.
“I miss my family.” Tanks for letting me know.
WHAT’S YOUR PLAN?
Do you ever see a student doing something odd and assume they are misbehaving? Us too. Tis phrase has helped us get curious, not furious, in those moments. Asking “What’s your plan?” has replaced “What are you doing?” which can be perceived as accusatory. Now, when we see a stu- dent walking with a stick in hand, we ask “What’s your plan?” and are usually pro- vided with surprising insight into what a child is thinking. If there is no plan, this phrase presents an
“WHAT WE’VE FOUND IS THAT NO ONE APPROACH CAN EN- SURE STUDENTS ARE SUCCESSFULLY SHARING INFORMATION THAT NEEDS TO BE SHARED, AND WE WOULD RATHER HAVE OUR STUDENTS COME TO US WITH EVERYTHING THAN CHANCE US MISSING SOMETHING IMPORTANT. ”
opportunity to come up with one together or to offer considerations. “I’m wondering if you’ve thought about how to keep everyone safe while holding that stick?” We love that asking for a plan gives students a chance to connect with us and practice communicating their thinking. It also opens the door to get- ting information you may have missed, since despite what our students may believe, we don’t have eyes in the backs of our heads and can’t see everything all the time!
BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF, TOO
strategies for teaching students the differ- ence between tattling and telling. What we’ve found is that no one approach can ensure students are successfully sharing informa- tion that needs to be shared, and we would rather have our students come to us with ev- erything than chance us missing something important. Tis is where the phrase “thanks for let-
ting me know” comes in. Any time a student tells us something, whether it’s important and requires a follow up or not, we thank them for letting us know. Oſten this phrase is all they need. Why? It helps them feel safe, seen and heard. Safe, because they know we
16 ETFO VOICE | WINTER 2024
Tis piece can be hard, but it is also incred- ibly important. We are educators, charged with the learning and development of our students, but we are also humans. A big part of this gentle approach that we have worked to develop for our students also needs to be extended to ourselves. When we have worked so hard to be patient but are ex- periencing patience fatigue, when we have tried every trick and tool that we have and they haven’t worked, when we have things going on in our lives outside of school and it feels too heavy, we need kindness and gentleness, too. So next time you’re feeling frustrated with yourself, we hope that you can take just a moment to breathe and say, “Tis is hard. I am doing the best I can,” and be gentle with yourself. n
Alannah McGregor and Avery Gray are members of the Upper Grand Teacher Local.
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