closing opinion

by kevin perry

Mask 4 Mask: Toughen Up and Be Gayer

2020 has been a real kick in the crotch. You have reason to complain: We get

it. But the inordinate amount of whining coming from straight, white people is infuriating. For once, we all have a common enemy: the novel coronavirus. Everybody should join together and fight for the same cause. Yeah, screw COVID-19 right in its ribonucleic acid-hole! But instead, heterosexuals keep Karen’ing (bitching) about the wrong issues.

They don’t want to maintain social distance or wait in line or wear a mask or yada, yada, boo-effing-hoo. Well, y’know what? Maybe you should cinch that mask even tighter. That’s

right, pull it against your face so hard that you shut your mouth forever. The gays are talking, so listen up. Let’s put it in terms that even you breeders can understand: gestation.

COVID-19 has a lengthy gestation process. Individuals may be spreading it for days or even weeks before exhibiting symptoms. That’s why we all need to wear masks. It’s not mandated to inconvenience you or tangle your split-ends (more so than they already are). Masks slow the terrifyingly efficient and lethal spread of coronavirus. Period. The queer community is an authority on the matter. We encountered our own

gestation woes when AIDS reared its cruel head in the 1980s. As it turns out, HIV had been raging silently within our ranks for years, but we had no idea. Once we were able to better understand the spread of the virus, it was too late. Gay warriors became fierce advocates. “Plague!” screamed Larry Kramer.

“Plague!” He awoke a generation to the nightmare of HIV/AIDS. He co-founded the Gay Men’s Health Crisis. He wroteThe Normal Heart. He saved lives, but tragically lost his own to pneumonia in May of this year. Be more like Larry Kramer. Be outspoken, be brave, be a savior. In short: Be gay! When straighties moan about the sheer indignity of wearing a protective

face covering, reply by screaming “Plague!” They can’t see the outcome of their current selfishness because they have no concern for anyone but themselves. Frighten them into submission. Scaring is caring. Perhaps one of the most heartbreaking illustrations of how latent viruses

can destroy a community is depicted in the documentaryGay Sex in the 70s. It explores the joys of anonymous hookups on the piers in New York City and the bathhouses of San Francisco, then devolves into the sad ramifications of a virus no one saw coming. The film is a barometer by which to gauge our current predicament. If you are

a pessimist, you view the story as a stark warning about the eventuality of mass casualties unless we DO SOMETHING NOW. If you are an optimist, you perceive the narrative as an empowering wake-up call to save lives and DO SOMETHING NOW. Either way, we must take action, and the best solution as of this moment takes the form of a mask.

30 | July 2020 When heteros whine about wearing their masks, please allow me to translate

what they are truly saying: They don’t care about you. They never have. They ignored us in the 1980s and they will dance on our graves in 2020. Whiners have no place on the front lines of progress. Larry Kramer didn’t whine: He roared. We must carry on the elegant, enraged tradition of Larry Kramer, in our heads, in

our souls, and in ournormal hearts. Even though the specter of sickness has taken a new form, we can fight the demon together, yet safely apart. Embrace the joy that is all around you. Respect others, but do not let them invade your sanctuary space. The air you breathe gives you life, but it can also carry death. Loss of life is inevitable during a pandemic, but it must not be in vain. We are

elevated thanks to the works and wisdom of Larry Kramer, so it seems fitting to give him the last word: “There will always be enemies. Time to stop being your own.” --Larry Kramer,Faggots, 1978

Hailing from rural Maine, Kevin Perry moved to Los Angeles with a screenplay as his copilot. Since then, he has written seven more features, 50+ TV episodes, and countless sassy tweets. Follow him @KevinPerryRules if you dare!

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