MENTAL HEALTH


EFL special award for long service presented by chairman Dave Doggett


DON’T MISS BY FAR THE LARGEST


GROUNDCARE DEALER, AGRICULTURAL AND CONSTRUCTION SHOW IN THE UK


YEARS ANNIVERSARY


some of the details.


I told her I had fallen over some boxes at work, suffering a number of injuries including a cut head, broken teeth and damaged hip and elbow. The ambulance crew had given me morphine. I’d been passing blood and feeling generally unwell, and the following day I’d woken with no feeling in three fingers and unable to move my neck. This had led to several medical procedures to remove nerves in my back and neck to relieve the symptoms, and then three procedures on my right hip, whilst taking a cocktail of pain-relieving drugs. Since the bang on the head, I said, my memory had been shot to pieces, which bothered me massively.


There were a few things I couldn’t talk about as to do so would make me feel ill, set my lips tingling and send me into a panic. I couldn’t tell the therapist that I was carrying a very thin piece of metal Dibond two feet by five when I fell, or that as I was falling all I could see was the razor-sharp metal in front of my face, or that I was thinking if I


fell on the sheet it would cut my head off and I would possibly die. I couldn’t tell her that when I came round from the bang on the head I had blood in my mouth and on my face, and could remember running my fingers around my throat, thinking I had indeed landed on the metal.


I attended these


appointments for several months before being referred to a consultant psychiatrist, Dr Louisa Mann. A psychiatrist? Had it come to this? I had little knowledge of what a psychiatrist actually did and didn’t have a clue what to expect. Attending my first session with Dr Mann was one of the scariest moments of my life.


The appointment involved a number of tests and a series of questions, and then Dr Mann told me she would refer me for a brain scan due to my loss of memory. She also said she believed I was suffering from depression. I failed to accept her conclusion.


I went back for several more appointments and each


1960 - 2020


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It was thirty seconds before I was able to banish the destructive thought. It was enough to think about what effect my suicide would have


PC December/January 2020 55


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