Growing together while living apart
Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or simply missing your friends and family, being an expat is no easy task for those who thrive on their connections with loved ones. While many of us are lucky enough to travel ‘home’ in December, the post-holiday blues are very real. As you (try to) get comfortable in your plane seat, familiar feelings arise: hoping your seatmate showered recently, bracing yourself for airplane food and the sinking feeling of leaving the people you love behind once again.
But wait! Don’t reach for that emergency exit door just yet. While the distance and separation may feel endless and impossible when you were exchanging gifts and sharing meals just days before, there are tonnes of ways to maintain that holiday glow all year round. The question is, how will you make the most of this time? How will you continue to grow together while living apart?
What most people struggle with in a long- distance relationship or friendship is losing the nuances that you develop from spending lots of time together. The inside jokes, being able to read facial expressions and the fun of activities you’d normally do together all seem to wilt a bit as the duration of separation increases. Humans are incredibly perceptive, and leaning into this will help you to nurture your relationships even from afar. The Five Love Languages is a book and concept by Gary Chapman that details the five main ways people receive and understand love: quality time, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service and devotion and physical touch. While this is certainly nebulous and not necessarily perfect, it is an incredibly useful tool to guide how you go about maintaining the closeness in your relationships so that the people you love feel loved by you, wherever you are in the world.
Quality time: make togetherness a priority
Togetherness? Isn’t this an article about separation? Well, this is 2019 and we are firmly in the digital age. This is great news for expats with loved ones far away – certainly bet- ter than when we relied on letters delivered by a ship crossing the ocean. Today, you can see your little sister ignoring your Snapchats in real time. Being together is the beating heart of the connections you share with your loved ones and it is so im- portant to prioritise this even as your busy lives in different countries interfere.
Expats are well-versed in using technol- ogy solutions to staying in touch. We WhatsApp, GChat, Facebook message, Skype and FaceTime with our friends and family abroad on a basis that is still not frequent enough in your mother’s opinion. However, there are definitely other lesser-known options to keeping the closeness. If your partner, friend or family member is someone who feels loved when you spend quality time to- gether, this is a solution for you.
If you’re missing date night or want to watch the new chick flick with your best friend, give
rabb.it a try! No more trying to perfect the art and science of press- ing ‘play’ on your movie at the exact
Being together is the beating heart of the connections you share with
your loved ones, and it is so important to prioritise this even as your busy lives in different countries interfere.
www.focus-info.org FOCUS The Magazine 9
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