One new network member, J. Scott
Wagner, author of The Liberal’s Guide to Conservatives, speaks about the importance of using neutral language in dialogue. “I learned from him how words can be emotional triggers and signal one-sided perspectives, leaving some group members feeling angry or excluded because they feel the speaker won’t be open to hearing their perspec- tive,” says Breese.
A community is a group that can fight gracefully… Chaos is not just a state; it is an essential process of community development.
~Dr. M. Scott Peck,
The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace
civic engagement. Breese remarks, “We’re open to working with anyone interested in learning processes that can help bridge divides. We also like sharing stories about what is working.”
Toolbox The group’s downloadable free tools help newcomers: A beginner’s guide for exploring dialogue (
ncdd.org/rc/ beginners-guide); a how-to-guide for Conversation Café (CC) hosts (Tinyurl. com/ManualForConversationCafe); and the American Library Association Libraries Transforming Communities: Models for Change Project (
ala.org/ltc- models). “To date, we’ve had at least 800 librarians participate in free NCDD webinars,” Breese notes.
CC is a simple tool useful in ex- ploring difficult topics and provides a safe space to process different perspec- tives. “Initial agreement on basic rules includes suspending judgment while listening and seeking to understand oth- ers, refraining from persuading or con- verting and talking only from personal experience,” explains Breese.
After three tours of the U.S. and hundreds of interviews with conservative individuals, Wagner, founder of the non- profit Reach the Right, was inspired to use his knowledge of five arenas—neu- rology/cognitive psychology, personality, bias, social conformity and morality—to help progressives understand conserva- tives that are not only their political leaders, but also their relatives, partners, friends and managers.
He offers a simple explanation for
anyone drenched in inaccurate biases. “We inherit unconscious genetic personality characteristics that lead us to develop our ideology, with which we construct our world and align with others that are in agreement. Differences in our personality characteristics are the culprits that create conflict.”
Community Needs
Erase Enmity Drawing on 25 years of experience of enabling sworn enemies to create peace in places such as South Africa, Northern Ireland and Colombia, Adam Kahane, author of Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don’t Agree with or Like or Trust, shares insights into the “enemyfying syndrome” that instigates conflict. This habit of thinking and acting as if people we are dealing with are our enemies and the cause of our prob- lems is all around us and dominates the media. “The enemies are always the others, ‘those people’. Enemyfying, which feels exciting and satisfying— even righteous and heroic—usually ob- scures, rather than clarifies, the reality of the challenges we face. It amplifies conflicts, narrows the space for prob- lem solving and creativity, and distracts us with unrealizable dreams of decisive victory from the real work we need to do,” observes Kahane.
Kahane sees the challenge of conflict becoming more acute. “People today are generally more free, individualistic and diverse, with stronger voices and less deference. Volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity are growing.” Yet, contrary to the common view, it is possible for people that hold contradictory posi- tions to find ways to collaborate. That’s what he and 40 others representing military officers, guer- rillas and paramilitaries; activists and politicians; businesspeople and trade unionists; landowners and farmers; and academics, journalists and young people, accomplished in the Destino Colombia project. They organized to contribute to ending their country’s 52-year civil war.
STARTING TOOLS
W
orld Café-style conversations used in Conversation Cafés to discuss issues that matter offer a powerful social technology to engage people in meaningful and constructive dialog in corporate, government and community settings. Understanding that conversation is the core process that drives personal, business and organizational life, it’s a way of thinking and being together sourced in a philosophy of conversa- tional leadership. Embracing a combination of these guiding principles can foster collaborative exchanges, active engagement and helpful possibilities for action.
n Clarify the Purpose n Create a Hospitable Space n Explore Questions that Matter n Encourage Everyone’s Contribution n Connect Diverse Perspectives n Listen for Insights and Share Discoveries
Source:
Tinyurl.com/CafeConversation Principles
natural awakenings December 2017 17
Jacob Lund/
Shutterstock.com
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