Love that lasts
We were made for relationship. Right up there on the list of basiic human needs, along with food, clothing and shelter, is the need to love and be loved. So, of course, this is something we want to celebrate, and Valentine’s Day is the moment we declare our love (either openly or anonymously) with cards, flowers and chocolates. And there is nothing wrong with that. Except, do we do ourselves any favours by just celebrating romantic love?
c , c ou , is ymou Rev Patrick Butler
Because the truth about romantic love (what the Greeks called Eros) is that it doesn’t last without the support of two other kinds of love – friendship love (Philia) and sacrificial love (Agape). Eros gets the attention because it is the kind of love that makes the heart beat faster and turns our world upside down in an incredibly exciting way. But it lacks staying power, and sooner or later leaves quietly by the back door. It may return (and often does) but on its own, Eros cannot sustain a lasting relationship.
Love that lasts is built on friendship formed through shared experience, honest conversation and battles fought and won together. It is built on choosing to stay when you would rather go, saying sorry when it wasn’t just your fault. It is you deciding to stay with me through my years of depression when there wasn’t much in it for you, because you promised you would never leave me for better for worse; for richer for poorer.
The Church on the Heath
In the Bible in 1 John 4:7, a simple request is made: ‘Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.’ The kind of love it talks about is unconditional love; the love expressed by Jesus on the cross; the kind of love that will not give up on us though we may turn our backs. This is the love that comes from God. So yes, let’s by all means celebrate the romantic love that brings us together, but let’s also celebrate the kind of love that keeps us together. This kind of love doesn’t sell quite so many cards but is arguably the most precious because it is the most costly.
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