80 San Diego Reader July 21, 2016
news of the WeiRD
LEAD STORY — T e president of the New England Organ Bank told U.S. News & World Report recently that she attributes the enormous upsurge in do- nations in recent years to the opioid “epidemic” that has produced a similarly enormous up- surge in fatal overdoses. Now, one out of every 11 donated organs comes as a result of the over- dosing that in 2014 claimed over 47,000 lives. (An organ-sharing organization’s chief medical offi cer reminds that all organ donations are carefully screened, especially those acquired from overdose deaths.)
Oops! — T is correction appeared in the New York Times print edition of May 10: “Because of an editing error, an article on Monday (May 9) about a theological battle being fought by Mus- lim imams and scholars in the West against the Islamic State misstated the Snapchat handle used by Suhaib Webb, one of the Muslim lead- ers speaking out. It is imamsuhaibwebb, not Pimpin4Paradise786.” — Government agencies trying, legally or not, to hide details from public inquiries under free- dom-of-information demands usually resort to indelibly blackening out what they do not want revealed, but the Public Health Agency of Can- ada recently tried a unique method, according to an Associated Press correspondent. T e AP had requested fi les on the 2014 Ebola outbreak, and, revealed reporter Raphael Satter, the docu- ments fi nally arrived from the PHA with parts carefully “redacted” — using “Scotch tape and paper.” Satter reported that he got everything
the AP had asked for by merely peeling the tape back. (A Dallas Morning News reporter, com- menting on Satter’s experience, wrote, “Cana- dians are so nice.”)
Nature 2, Florida 0 — Nicole Bjanes, casually zipping along Inter- state 4 in Volusia County around noon on May 9, saw a red-eared slider turtle come sailing through the air and crash into her windshield, sending her car off the road. T e Florida High- way Patrol said the turtle had become airborne aſt er being hit by another car. (It was apparently unhurt and swam away when a fi refi ghter re- leased it into a nearby pond.) — On May 10, police in Key West responded to a caller at the scene of a giant banyan tree (com- mon to Florida and featuring vertical roots that thicken, spread and become entangled with the central trunk). A woman had attempted to climb the tree but had fallen among the vertical roots, making her barely visible. Said a proud police spokesperson, “T ey popped her out like a cork.”
Perspective — King Cove, Alaska, population 923, lies be- tween two massive volcanic mountains on one of the Aleutian Islands, unconnected to other civilization and 625 miles from any medical facility (in Anchorage), “accessible” only by a weather-challenging “puddle-jumper” airplane to Cold Bay for a connecting fl ight. About two- thirds of the residents have fl ying anxieties so severe that King Cove has a makeshiſt vend- ing machine dispensing Valium. U.S. Sen. Lisa
Murkowski has campaigned to build a road to Cold Bay to eliminate the nerve-wracking fl ights, but it would disturb a federally pro- tected wilderness, and the U.S. Interior Depart- ment has so far declined.
New World Order — German soldiers participating in a four- week NATO exercise in Norway earlier this year apparently had to abort their eff orts days earlier than other countries — because Ger- many’s defense minister, Ursula von der Leyen, had imposed strict rules on overtime pay. Sol- diers are to work no more than 41 hours a week, she said, according to revelations by London’s Daily Telegraph. — Britain’s venerable Oxford University is- sued a formal suggestion to law lecturers re- cently that they give “trigger warnings” (and allow classroom absences) if the class subject matter might be unpleasant to some students. Complained one frustrated lecturer, “We can’t remove sexual off ences from the criminal law syllabus — obviously.”
Updates — Annual Chinese “tombsweeping” celebra- tions have made News of the Weird several times, most recently in 2008 when the govern- ment reinstated it as an offi cial holiday. (Tra- ditionally, people brought jewelry and other valuables to ancestors’ gravesites for burial with the body, thus theoretically “enriching” the relative’s aſt erlife.) In recent years, dur- ing economic turbulence, some brought only paper images of valuables (or just leſt signed
by Chuck Shepherd © 2016
checks — “generous” checks!). Now, a retail market has developed ultra-cheap knock-off upscale items, such as fake Gucci shoes, com- puters, big-screen TV sets, and even one full- size “air-conditioner.” A Hong Kong represen- tative for Gucci has issued warnings against trademark abuse, even though the fl imsy fakes are hardly convincing. — In 2006, a court in Preston, England, ap- parently weary of Akinwale Arobieke’s repeat- edly, unconsensually “touching” men’s biceps in public, issued a Sexual Off enses Prevention Order making any such future contact auto- matic off enses. Arobieke admitted a longtime fascination with buff ed-up physiques and con- tinued from time to time to fi nd biceps irre- sistible, but in May 2016 he convinced a Man- chester Crown Court judge to liſt the SOPO based on his assurance that he wanted a “fresh start” and would behave himself. T e judge seemed not quite sure, but noted that police could still arrest him under other sexual or as- sault statutes.
Unclear on the Concept — Prolancia Turner, 26, was arrested on May 13 at Vero Beach (Florida) Outlets mall aſter she allegedly walked out of a Claire’s store with unpaid-for earrings tucked into her waistband. Police reported her “crying and angry” and complaining that, “Everyone steals from this store. Why are you picking on me?”
Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, San Diego Reader, P.O. Box 85803, San Diego, CA 92186 or to
WeirdNewsTips@Yahoo.com
San Diego Food Chronicles
All You Ever Wanted to Know About Donuts
Crullers require very hot water in the mixing, 120 degrees. The mix is sensitive, and many shops do not carry these miniature snow tires… BY MATTHEW LICKONA, MAY 9, 1996
The Cheese Never Stands Completely Alone
It’s peculiar how few of these eating memories are really about food. They’re more about the mists and scents that surround the food… BY JEFF WEINSTEIN, MAY 1, 1997
Four-Alarm Grub
Nelsen and Stuemke estimate that 7 of the 11 firefighters in their division cook on a regular basis. “We have one guy on our crew who cooks spaghetti. Another man is known for his fish tacos”… BY JEANNETTE DE WYZE, NOV. 26, 1997
Banana Man
Across the aisle, is another table like yours neatly stacked with oranges, grapefruits, pineapples, papayas, and other fruits. That table, as well as the rack against the wall, are refrigerated. Your table is not… BY ERNIE GRIMM, FEB 4, 1999
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VOLUME 38 /NUMBER 32 AUGUST13, 2009
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