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opment. Mental and social emotional health are shaped by experiences early on in childhood. Developing loving, posi- tive relationships with those around them helps children to feel safety, comfort and positive self-esteem. These relationships will also help kids learn to experience and manage emotions as well as to learn to express themselves. It is important for children to develop loving relationships early on in order to gain an understand- ing of trust, compassion for others and a sense of right and wrong. As children develop their own sense of independence and demonstrate initiative, they develop a sense of personhood. This allows them to understand where they fit in among their family, peers, neighbor- hood and society. When this fit feels comfortable, kids feel competent as effec- tive members of their family, school and community. A poor fit can put children at risk for long-term negative consequenc- es related to mental health. As your child develops a sense of self and independence, healthy peer relation- ships become important. By school age, having friends becomes more emotionally important. Some aspects that influence this shift in your child’s thinking include increased awareness of body image, increased academic challenges, indepen- dence from family and an overall ability to understand others more clearly. By middle school, your children are
figuring out where they belong in their world. Peer acceptance is an important aspect of this stage as they are develop- ing a sense of self. Peer pressure, or pres- sure to conform to a specific group, and bullying may arise as a concern around this time. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that children who
Ready, Set, Grow
feel good about themselves are more able to resist peer pressure and make good decisions for themselves. The CDC defines bullying as unwanted aggressive behavior by another youth or group involving observed or perceived power imbalance, and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. There are many places that bullying can occur in a child’s environment, both in person or through technology. Positive self-esteem is a crucial protective factor to help your child resist peer pressure and stand up to bullying. As parents, when contemplating how to instill good self-esteem in your child, it is important to consider aspects of how this was promoted in your childhood and reflect on how this influences the way you parent. The most challenging part of promot-
ing your child’s self-esteem may be the fact that you cannot control it. There is no prescription or secret formula to crack the code of how to be positive. Instead you need to think about how to provide your children the tools they need to overcome the challenges of life. There are many ways to promote self-esteem. Consider the following suggestions. 1. Help your child to identify strengths while recognizing the appropriate level of ability. It is important to build on strengths when promoting competence of a new skill. Choosing activities that are develop- mentally appropriate — not necessarily age-appropriate — is very important to challenge your child realistically. Some confidence-building activities could in- clude karate, theater group or even dance classes. 2. Offer praise that is specific and earned. Overpraising kids or complimenting for
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