Behavior
she has already lost all privileges. Take a few moments to calm down and provide a punishment appropriate to the situation.
Age 9-12 years For many parents this preteen stage of life begins the period of children testing limits and pushing boundaries. Remember, the goal of discipline is to guide your child to develop an awareness of behavior and choices and consequences. When kids of this age require discipline, the best solution is the use of natural or logical consequences. If your child has a project due for school and does not ask for the supplies in advance or complete the project, don’t save her by going out at the last minute to buy the supplies or helping her stay up to finish. Allow her to experience the natural consequences of a bad grade to help her learn to plan better in the future. This will assist her in maturing and managing her needs as she grows. It is normal to want our kids to be successful, but sometimes we have to let them learn to succeed through negative experiences.
Age 13+ years At this point your child is maturing and experiencing the in-between childhood to adulthood phase of the teenage years. You will have laid the foundation for behavior and discipline by this point. You must set firm limits and rules and make certain your teen is aware of the rules and conse- quences in advance. If a rule is broken, it is important to follow up with the consequences in a calm, yet firm way. Do not vacillate on enforcement of limits. If your teen breaks curfew, listen to the explanation, then enforce the rules as set. Rescind the privilege of going out the
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next weekend if that was the predetermined discipline. However, do not set unrealistic expectations. In addition, allow your child to have more choice and input in the decision. Discuss where he wants to go and why and what might be an appropriate curfew for that specific event. Begin to allow more freedom to guide your child into maturing. Allow more natural consequences to occur to con- tinue his individual personal development.
Rules to Remember
* Develop a positive relationship with your child.
* Use more positive reinforcement to encourage good behavior.
* If discipline is needed, do not spank or use physical punishment.
* Remain calm when disciplining your child.
* Children will mimic your behavior. * Discipline needs to be age- and
situation-specific.
* Discipline with love and the idea to guide your child’s development.
Disciplining children can be as difficult
for you as it is for your child. Remember, the purpose of discipline is to guide your child to develop good behavior and to have an understanding of actions, behavior and consequences. Using the appropriate discipline in the right way will help set your child up to grow and mature into an adult who understands the consequences for his behavior and actions.
Stephanie C. Evans, PhD, RN, CPNP-PC, is an Assistant Professor at Texas Christian University and works as a PNP at Bumps n’ Bruises Urgent Care. Her research focus is mental health and children, specifically ways to have positive mental health in children.
www.readysetgrowmag.com
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