REGULAR
Being The Messenger
Working in care often means having to deliver bad news. In her fourth article for Tomorrow’s Care, our regular columnist Wendy Mason advises on the delicate art of sharing unpleasant information.
Isn’t it wonderful when you have good news for someone? You feel positive and so do they. But what about bad news? We tend to feel bad even before we begin. Bad news hurts, so we need to break it with care.
Usually when you have to give bad news, the receiving person will be waiting for some kind of message. Even when they are expecting it, though, you will find that they are shocked by bad news. If you want to be as helpful as possible, you need to prepare carefully and you must follow up afterwards. There is a lot more to it than just delivering the initial news.
Preparing To Give Bad News Preparing is the key to getting it right. Ask yourselves the following questions:
• Where are you going to have the meeting?
• Where will you sit or stand in relation to the hearer?
• What time of day are you going to give the news? (Late at night or first thing in the morning when people are tired isn’t a good idea)
If you have to put the news in writing, then think about how. This is not the time for a short note or an informal email. You will also need to think
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about how you are going to provide support and allow the person to ask questions once the news has sunk in.
Make sure you talk in a quiet, comfortable place and that you will not be interrupted. Try to sit close to the person at eye-level with no barrier between you. If you sit behind a desk people can feel very isolated and alone. How you provide comfort will depend upon the person. Remember sitting too close and touching is offensive in some cultures and uncomfortable for some people.
Be extremely clear about the facts before you begin. If there are helpline numbers they can call or other forms of support available make sure you have the details to hand. Give names as well as numbers if possible. Avoid giving the impression that you didn’t care enough to gather the facts in advance. And don’t work from notes, if you can avoid it. They, too, can present a barrier.
Breaking The News Be careful to watch for the person’s reaction and listen carefully to how they respond. From their body language and eye contact, you should be able to tell if they understand and accept what you’re saying. If you can,
try to pick-up on the emotions they are experiencing. You may have to deal with anger or absolute despair.
Don’t jump straight into the news, but check how they are feeling first. Speak clearly and slowly. If you are writing, warn them you have bad news and say you are sorry about it. Ask them if they have any questions and if they understand what you’re telling them.
Following Up Don’t end the meeting abruptly. Check they don’t have more questions and they know how to access any available help. They may feel quite lost after receiving very bad news. You may want to allow them some time alone. Don’t rush them out of your office or wherever the meeting is taking place. It is kind to schedule another meeting shortly afterwards or arrange to ring them to ensure they understood what you told them and can respond to it. Take the time to be kind. After all, compassion costs us nothing.
Wendy Mason’s new book ‘The WiseWolf Job Search Pocket Book: How to Win Jobs and Influence Recruiters’ is published by Bluebird House Books and is available now.
www.wisewolfcoaching.com @WWisewolf
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