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Out on DVD this month



2013’s Olympus Has Fallen, in which the White House and its dopey occupants were rescued from Korean terrorists by a gurning Gerard Butler, was the cinematic equivalent of Donald Trump. It was loud, vulgar, and dumb. It made little narrative sense, and exhibited a child’s understanding of the world. Worst of all, it constantly deployed playground patriotism to move its audience (I counted at least three occasions when a mournful string section accompanied a slow-motion shot of a damaged Stars and Stripes). Like Trump, it was not intended to be watched or considered, but to be whooped at by fuckwits. Unfortunately, also like Trump, it proved to be bafflingly popular with the

weak-minded, so we get a sequel. Tanks, fuckwits.

London Has Fallen, in which London and its dopey occupants are rescued from generic brown people by Gerard Butler (not just gurning this time, but seemingly trying to tongue a piece of food out of his right molar for the whole film), is the cinematic equivalent of Boris Johnson. It’s ridiculous, bloated, vacuous, and makes you want to slap your own face. Its veneer of stupidity, familiarity, and hokey Englishness is almost enough to distract you from what a massive turd it is, but not

quite. Like Boris, It bumbles from one unlikely situation to the next like a slobbering dog trying to escape its own farts. And, like Boris, it’s about ten years out-of-date and looks shite. Te only way it differs from Boris is that it is very poor. Don’t let it into your home.

Jay Freeman

July FILM RELEASES 01 JulyAbsolutely Fabulous: Te MovieSaunders’ and Lumley’s drunken duo Patsy and Eddy finally hit the big screen, and following a media shit-storm involving Kate Moss, flee to the French Riviera. Featuring an Ab Fab cast, including favourites Horrocks, French, Sawal… Sawlah… Saffron, plus a load of famous cameos.

08 JulyGhostbustersWho you gonna call? Well, if you’re going to reboot one of the most well loved movie franchises of EVERYONE’S childhood, it better be someone good. Tey called Paul Feig. He called Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones. I’m calling bullshit. Tere’s something weird, and it don’t look good…

22 July Te BFGAnother childhood favourite gets a re-do, but just to prove that I’ve got nothing against it if done properly, I’m very excited to see Steven Spielberg bring Roald Dahl’s Big Friendly Giant to the screen. Stars Mark Rylance and Ruby Barnhill, and some breathtaking CGI.

27 JulyJason BourneYou know his name, now he knows his name, and we all know what he can do with a rolled up magazine… yes, Bourne is back, and so is original Bourne director Paul Greengrass. Which is good. Alicia Vikander, Julia Stiles and Tommy Lee Jones also star. Cue the car chase. Smiley


04 July Son of SaulTe Hungarian winner of this year’s Best Foreign Film Oscar is difficult to watch, as one would expect of a film set in Auschwitz, but within the claustrophobia and horror is a profoundly moving tale of hope and moral survival. A remarkable piece of art.

11 July Hail, Caesar!Everyone, from the directors to the stellar cast are on top form in the Coen Brothers’ latest. More than just a love letter to 50’s/60’s Hollywood, it’s an examination of the worth of cinema per se. What’s more, it’s an absolute hoot. Te most fun the Coens have had in years.

18 July Te WitchTat rare thing: a genuinely original, disturbing, and scary horror film. Te fact that it is director Robert Eggers’ debut makes it all the more remarkable. It’ll leave you unnerved for days.

25 July ZootropolisAs delightful and detailed a film as we’ve come to expect from Pixar, but its message, which implores us to overcome our base instincts and prejudices, seems more aimed at adults than kids. And the film is all the better for it. A real treat. Jay Freeman

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