LYRICS TO GO
Do you ride on down the hillside in a buggy you have made? ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
Tis song will begin once again, to a baby's cry. ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
Santa Claus won't make me happy with a toy on Christmas day
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you Shall I play for you? Pa rum pum pum pum..
✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯ ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯ ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
You're a bum, you're a punk, you're an old slut on junk
✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
Christmas is love, Christmas is peace, a time for hating and fighting to cease.
✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
CHRISTMAS CRACKERS
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house.
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
Charades. It's all fun and games until your parents act out Summer of 69.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Marks And Spencer’s Find the answers exclusively online at
www.outlineonline.co.uk
new advert states that it wouldn't be Christmas without M&S. They're right too. It'd be Chrita.
My wife asked me if we can have something more 'Christmassy' on the television. So I put FIFA on and played in snowy conditions.
Why doesn't Santa have any kids? He only comes once a year.
Just opened a Christmas present from my uncle. It was a box of rice. Thanks Uncle Ben.
Where? Take 5 What?
Winter Ash Grain Brewery
“You need an enabler and a trigger. You’re in a pool of white light, now orange, now white. I’ve been in one of your sessions Stewie!” When you overhear conversations like this in the pub, you know it’s time to go home. If you’re the person saying it, it’s time to consider some kind of therapy. After missing the Christmas lights switch-on completely (something I miss every year), I ate a dinner of four olives and headed through Tombland to Take 5 for a couple. While there, outside having a sneaky fag break, I bumped into Outline film reviewers Jay and Smiley on their way to see Evil Scarecrow at the Waterfront. Norwich is a small world but I like it. My pint tonight was served by the world’s happiest barman (even when asking us to leave
for the third time at midnight). Winter Ash was a deep ruby ale, with more than a slight burnt taste to it. Ideal for a chilly night in a pub with a working fireplace, but a little too heavy for my delicate palette to drink all night. Still, being a Grain beer it was a local brew which always gets my vote. We chose seats by the window and I tried to listen to my friend describe the finer points of Nitzer Ebb, as compared to my faves NIN, but I was distracted by the neighbouring conversation again. “After vomiting for four hours and tripping wildly, your spirit animal is now a snow leopard.” Tis, I thought, is a man that has either had too much, or decidedly not enough.
Check out more beer-themed ramblings at
pint-sizedblonde.blogspot.co.uk outlineonline.co.uk / December 2015 / 7
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