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of an airing… so perhaps I knew from the start. In my late 20s and 30s friends
promised that I would reach a day when an overwhelming urge to be a mother would strike… So I waited… never quite certain what I was waiting
A beautiful choice, and no regrets
by Dr Rachel Mascord, dentist and writer
PERHAPS IT IS A very strange thing to know at a young age that you do not want to be a mother. I am 47, single and childless, a choice that I know with certainty was the right one for me. I have never doubted it. So now, with the sweeping vista provided by hindsight, I can reflect and wonder at what was the source of that certainty. As a little girl (and I was a very girly
little girl) I used to put pieces of timber in my toy stroller, and on occasion our temperamental ginger cat, and wheel them around the backyard with great delight. The baby doll never got much
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for – an overwhelming urge to ravage a strange man for procreational purposes? Needless to say, that did not happen. And of course when you reach your 40s, those comments politely peter away. I have been blessed to never have
the eye of pity cast upon me by friends or colleagues. Years ago an interesting comment was made to me by a patient. She asked to be referred to a specialist who had their own children. When asked why, she stated that only people with children can have compassion. Now I can smile at this, because I
know my capacity for compassion… and tenderness and love. This is confirmed everyday by the
beautiful, open-hearted responses I receive from the patients who see me every day, be they big or small. So on Mothers Day… if I happen
to recall that it is Mothers Day, I will celebrate the beautiful, warm, funny and compassionate woman I am, with a rich life, who just happens to be single and childless.
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Awesome aunt – not moody mum
by Anne Hunter, relationships coach and educator
IF WE LIVED IN a tribal society where I could go walkabout for three weeks and be sure that my children would be as loved without me as with me, I might have considered having children. In the standard nuclear two-parent set-up, no way. I’m an introvert and I need my space. I
need a lot of quiet time to think, process, and recover the energy that I spend socially. Without that I become first irritable and then depressed pretty quickly. I hate to imagine what I’d be like with 24/7 loud demanding small dependants. I’ve never experienced a ‘maternal urge’
in my life, and I knew I didn’t want kids. That doesn’t mean I have no contact with them. Instead I’ve chosen to be a fabulous aunt, a role I adore. I got to spoil them, to hang out with
them and their friends, to encourage their imaginations and fantasies, to listen sympathetically to them gripe about their parents. I was the first one they spoke to about sex. We got to have all the
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