Both Barbara and Bob describe them- selves as enthusiastic, playful, entrepre- neurial, altruistic and geared toward creative projects, whether undertaken together or separately. “We’re both, ‘Let’s try this,’ sort of people,” says Barbara with a laugh. When the Unells


“Marriages based on a mutual desire to


serve and inspire grow continually in richness and beauty, and are a benediction to all who know of them.”


~ Meher Baba


had twins, now grown, they realized there was no national publication addressing how to parent multiples, so they launched Twins magazine in 1984. Bob founded and managed an advertising agency while Barbara wrote bestselling parenting books, but the whole family traveled together on her speaking engagements. In response to becoming a breast cancer survivor, Barbara founded the nonprofit Back in the Swing in 2000 to support survivorship care at cancer cen- ters. When they need- ed additional staff, Bob joined the team in 2009. One of the biggest things that Barbara has learned from Bob is, “You can make work fun.” “Although we


come from different backgrounds, Bob and I know the power of mutual respect, trust and kindness,” reflects


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Barbara. “Part of our connection is that we have shared history and never take each other for granted.” Bridging the


age gap. Karen and Dick Eagle, from St. Louis, Missouri, are 16 years apart in age, but are close in the ways that count. Both are


strong-minded and still vie to get their own way even after 30 years of mar- riage. “We argue over the stupidest things, and then resolve our disagree- ments and realize how good we have it,” says Karen. What first attracted them to each other—and keeps them together—is a love of playful fun and good times with friends. Karen remarks, “I knew Dick was ‘the one’ when he jumped flat-footed over a wing- back chair at a friend’s house. That showed me that he was young at heart.” Making ends


meet. Eleven years ago, when family therapist Susan Franklin lost her husband, Michael, a university college professor, she felt bereft and over-


whelmed. The pair had owned a country property near Cleve- land, Ohio, where they boarded horses.


Susan realized, “I couldn’t keep up with everything on my own,” and Jake Mar- shall, a musician friend of Michael’s, offered to help. Over time, Susan and Jake became close, and they now live together.


Although Jake is a great supporter


in many ways, he’s not in a position to help financially. Susan depends on her late husband’s insurance and pension benefits, which she would lose if she remarries. “Jake is so laid back and easy to be with, I can relax,” says Susan. Michael, on the other hand, always seemed to fill a room. Jake helps Susan with chores around the property and she is always there cheering him on from the front row when he performs at local venues.


Cultivating Care Working out as a couple, sharing a creative project or making a gourmet meal together can do more than keep partners feeling connected. Shared activities also keep the positive expe- riences ongoing and resonating. “That special bond and the commitments people often build around it are the products of love, the results of the many smaller moments in which love infuses you,” maintains Fredrickson. Such moments not only accumulate, but can also be stored in memory and banked to feed a relationship during the tougher times. “Love is something we should


re-cultivate every day,” she says. A lov- ing partnership is always a work in progress.


Judith Fertig is a freelance writer from Overland Park, KS.


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natural awakenings February 2015 19


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