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stand up while reading. Metzl suggests a stretch break every 20 minutes. Three of his “commandments” for fitness are having fun, setting goals and minimizing sitting. “Schedule exercise and respite breaks and make them as inviolate as a doctor’s visit,” advises Schall.


Commune with Spirit August suggests establishing a twofold consciousness-raising ritual to welcome and appreciate life. Begin each day by showing gratitude for being alive and end it focused on forgiveness and grati- tude. “When you cultivate gratitude, you notice more things to be grateful for,” says August.


La Bey concurs, and writes down


at least five things she is grateful for every day. She mentally replays time with her mom and appreciates the little moments and signs of hope, like “the twinkle in Mom’s eye or the way she held hands and smiled.” This puts her in an upbeat frame of mind when she drifts off to sleep. She also writes out her intention for the day, envisioning positive outcomes. She might affirm: “I am going to have a grace-filled day. Things will go smoothly.” Denholm centers herself by pet- ting her cats. Some caregivers chant or practice meditation or mindful breathing, while others might take a walk, shop, or sit quietly in a church.


Notice Blessings La Bey discovered that her journey as a caregiver also dramatically enhanced her own life. “Mom taught me so much,” she relates. “I learned compassion and uncon- ditional love on multiple levels. I learned to live in gratitude, instead of loss.” August notes, “Even in the tough times, I experienced an engaged, poi- gnant and rich connection with my parents.” For Denholm, treasured gifts includ- ed strengthening her communication with her husband and working as a team. “Allowing yourself to reach out for assistance and make time for respite will deeply enrich your caregiving experi- ence,” concludes Schall.


Deborah Shouse is the author of Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey. Follow her blog at DeborahShouseWrites.wordpress.com.


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