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Dear Debbie, Dear Debbie,


My mother has become quite forgetful recently. I work long hours and cannot manage to get down there every day. The situation is not critical at the moment but I fear she will need help in the very near future. However, she is resistant to receiving care. She is fiercely independent and feels she can manage on her own. What do you suggest? Yours sincerely,


Peter


Dear Charlotte, Hi Peter,


My father is coming out of hospital after a fall at home. He has lost a lot of confidence and is now quite anxious. I fear that day care visits will not now be enough and that a residential care home is the only way forward. Are there any other options that I should think about first? Yours sincerely, Charlotte G


Most of us go through life completely independent and take for granted what we can manage on a daily basis. Unfortunately, if we find ourselves in a situation where we find daily tasks more dif- ficult or we are unable to achieve the things we used to, this can be quite difficult to come to terms with. A common misconception about care is that it is for individuals that cannot do anything for themselves or for individuals that cannot cope. This may well be how your mother feels. On the contrary, care at home is provided to ensure individuals maintain their quality of life and inde- pendence for as long as possible. A good idea is to let someone warm to the prospect of care by introducing it slowly. Perhaps starting with a domestic call once a week so the Care Worker can check on her general well-being and build a professional relationship which will be needed to make your mother feel comfortable and build enough trust to have more visits as her needs increase. Best wishes,


Best wishes,


Debbie Moulton, Care Manager, Bluebird Care Debbie Moulton, Care Manager, Bluebird Care


Day care does have its limits, and if he’s now worried about being left unattended, then the prospect of “staying home” may make him anxious. One option that may be worth investigating is Live-in Care. Live in Care is when a Care Worker or Personal Assistant (PA) lives in your father’s home full time in a spare room. Many people trial this concept as the last step before accepting residential care. For some it can be a good option and the trial becomes permanent. A trained, experienced and supported PA can provide a constant and reassuring presence and also take care of nutrition, housework, and can provide personal care if needed and then is able to withdraw to their personal space if friends or family drop in. Having a Live in Care Worker can be a great alternative to going into residential care and the costs can be similar to a care home but with all the benefits of staying at your own home.


If you have a question that you would like to ask Debbie then please email her at


debbie@bluebirdcare.co.uk


MAIDSTONE • 01622 809530 • maidstone@bluebirdcare.co.uk www.bluebirdcare.co.uk/maidstone


GRAVESEND • 01474 888497 • gravesham@bluebirdcare.co.uk www.bluebirdcare.co.uk/gravesham-dartford


Maidstone East April 2014 23


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