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Gloucestershire Independent
February 20, 2014
Advice on bereavement
THE death of a loved one can be devas- tating and bereavement affects people in different ways. There’s no wrong way to feel. Some might feel a lot of emotions at once. One minute you might be having a good day and the next you can feel worse again. Powerful feelings can come unex- pectedly. Experts generally accept there are four stages of bereavement: l accepting that your loss is real l experiencing the pain of grief l adjusting to life without the person
who has died l putting less emotional energy into
grieving and putting it into something new (in other words, moving on) You will probably go through all these stages, but won’t necessarily move smoothly from one to the next. Grief might feel chaotic and out of control, but these feelings will eventually become less intense. Give yourself time. It is common to feel: lshock and numbness, usually the first reaction to the death l overwhelming sadness l tiredness or exhaustion
l anger, towards the person who died, their illness or God l guilt about feeling angry, about some- thing you said or didn’t say, or about not being able to stop your loved one dying Some people feel guilty about feeling
angry but this is also perfectly normal. Negative feelings don’t make you a bad
person.It is also usual after a bereave- ment to become forgetful and less able to concentrate. You may lose things. This is because your mind is distracted by be- reavement and grief. Talking and sharing your feelings with someone can help. Don’t go through this alone. For some people, relying on family and friends is the best way to cope. But if you don’t feel you can talk to them much you can contact local bereavement ser- vices through your GP, local hospice, the national Cruse helpline on 0844 477 9400 or a local Cruse centre. A bereavement counsellor can help you
talk about your feelings. You can access to a bereavement counsellor at any time, even if the person you lost died a long time ago. Don’t be afraid to talk about the
person who has died. People in your life might not mention their name because they don’t want to upset you. But if you feel you can’t talk to them, it can make you feel isolated. Do whatever you need to do to get through the day. This might be taking a day off work or doing something that re- minds you of that person, such as taking a favourite walk. Each bereavement is unique and you can’t tell how long it will last. Your GP or a bereavement counsel- lor can help if you feel you’re not coping. Some people also get support from a reli- gious minister. You might need help if: l you can’t get out of bed l you neglect yourself or your family,
for example you don’t eat properly l you feel you can’t go on without the person you’ve lost l the emotion is so intense it’s affect-
ing the rest of your life, for example you can’t face going to work or you’re taking your anger out on someone else These feelings are normal as long as they don’t last for a long time.
Copingwith Bereavement Acaring, personal service
MICHAEL Gamble Funeral Directors is a family-run and truly independent business run by husband and wife team, Michael and Clare Gam- ble. It is our aim to ensure that the families we serve can achieve a memorable and fit- ting funeral for their loved one and are very happy to advise on the wide range of
options available, from a very traditional service to some- thing far more contemporary. We provide families with practical guidance and emo- tional support at a difficult time when grief and intense feelings of loss can make even the simplest of tasks over- whelming. We are open from 9am – 5pm Monday to Friday.
L. E. PerryFuneral Directors 13-15Hampton Street
All businessfor Mr Perryiscurrently beingdealtwith by
Mr.Barry Wood. Pleasetelephone 01666 502295
NORMAN,TROTMAN
&HUGHES Funeral Directors
CremationsArranged •Funerals completelyfurnished •Memorialstonessupplied
Walton HouseBarn, Northleach,Cheltenham, Gloucestershire GL54 3EY
Telephone: 01451860288 uniquE floral dESign
In addition we can always be contacted on 01453 790900, 24 hours a day. We are members of The National Association
of Funeral Directors and are recommended by The Good Funeral Guide for the level of service that we provide.
Weddings Events Sympathy
T: 01285 641886 M: 07879442060
E:
hilary@englishroseflowers.co.uk www.englishroseflowers.co.uk
Celebrate a life at the Old Lodge
THE loss of a loved one is in- evitably a sad and stressful time.
Although all the arrange- ments can help to maintain a sense of normality and keep you going, you need others to do what is required of them with the minimum of fuss and without causing any fur- ther heartache. The experienced team at the
Old Lodge are dedicated to ful- filling your wishes, enabling you to catch up with relatives and celebrate the life of your loved one in whatever style
you prefer. We can cater from ten to 120 people, in either our Panel Room, the Breakfast Room or the beautifully panoram- ic restaurant overlooking Minchinhampton Common, with your choice from a selec- tion of hot and cold dishes or a bespoke menu. Our in-house PA system
is available if you would like some music and we also have ample free parking, and rooms are available for those who are travelling long dis- tances to be with you.
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