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Planning Makes Perfect


cut out and keep


- and when... Who does what If you think military precision takes the fun out of a


wedding, you’d be wrong. The essence of a trouble-free day is that everyone knows where they’re supposed to be and what they’re supposed to be doing.


register office At the


theywillbe showntoawaitingroomandthebridal party arrives about fiveminutes later. The bride and groom will be invited into the register office firstwhere the registrarwill explain the ceremony and the groomwill pay the fees. Ina short ceremony, the couple callonthepeople present to witness their vows to each other, they may exchange rings - though this is not a legal requirement - and then they sign the register. They will need two witnesses, who also sign the register, followed by the registrar. You may have music and readings at your


G


register officewedding, but remember theymust be non-religious. It’s normallymore convenient to have yourmusic recorded and it can be played before the ceremony and for the entrance of the bride, then during the signing of the register and as you leave the register office. Readings must be given by a member of the wedding party. Remember that the registrar’s part in the ceremony is confined purely to the legal requirements, so any additional vows youwish to make to each other must be spoken by yourselves alone. Whatever you do, you must agree the whole content of the ceremony with the officiating registrar before thewedding. The same applies for civil weddings at an approved venue - though because there is likely to be more space it may be possible to have livemusic.


uests are expected to arrive at the register office 15minutes before the ceremony when


At the Reception


The formal receiving line at the reception should take the following order: Bride’s parents Groom’s parents


Bride and Groom Chief bridesmaid and best man


After themeal, the bestman (or toastmaster, if you have one) introduces the speeches in the following order: The bride’s father (or an old family friend) always speaks first,welcoming the guests to the reception and his new son-in-law to the family. He will complement the bride and often thanks her mother for their many happy years together.He ends by proposing the toast to the bride and groom. The groom replies to his father-in-law’s toast, thanking him and the bride’s mother for their daughter, for their welcome into the family and for the reception (thewording can be discreetly changed here if the newlyweds and/or the groom’s parents have contributed to the expense). He thanks the guests for coming to celebrate the day and for the presents they have given. He thanks his best man and the bride’s attendants for the help they have given to the bride. He then proposes the toast to the bridesmaids. Now girl power is more firmly established, it is not uncommon now for the bride to say a few words and if she chooses to do so, she should speak after her newhusband. This is a good opportunity for her to thank


Order of service


The order of service is variable and your minister or priest will advise you. Often a hymn is sung after the bride’s procession, followed by readings and an address by the minister. The marriage itself follows. The minister asks: “Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?” and the bride’s father silently gives his daughter’s right hand to theminister,who passes it to the groom. The bride’s father takes his seat beside the bride’s mother. The vows aremade and the bestmanmay either pass the ring(s) to the groom or they may be placed on the minister’s prayer book before he passes them to the groom.


T


church Arrival at the


he ushers should arrive about 40 minutes before the ceremony is due to begin


The groom and best man should arrive about 15 minutes before the ceremony is due to begin The bridesmaids and attendants should arrive about fiveminutes before the ceremony is due to begin The bride’s mother should be the last to arrive before thebride-whensheisshowntoherseat that isasignal to the congregation that thewedding is about to start The bridewill bemet on her arrival at the church by the minister, who precedes the bride and her father down the aisleAs the congregationrises, thegroomandbest man take their places at the chancel steps The order of the bride’s procession is:Minister, Bride on her father’s right arm, Attendants.


PHOTO BY STEWART CLARKE PHOTOGRAPHY


all the people who have helped her plan the big day, to thank her own parents for all their support and to thank the groom’s parents for welcoming her into their family.


Last of the speeches is always the best man, who replies to the groom’s toast to the bridesmaids, wishes the happy couplewell, read the cards and telegrams and announces the cutting of the cake. Manyweddings nowinclude an evening dance or disco. Before it begins, the best man should make sure the bride and groomare ready to take the floor first, followed by the bride’s parents, the groom’s parents, the best man and chief bridesmaid.


The best man then returns to his seat. After the ceremony, the minister leads the couple to the altar for prayers, possibly a hymn or psalm and a final blessing. The minister then leads the couple to the vestry to sign the register and they are usually joined by their parents, the best man and the chief bridesmaid. The signing of the register must be witnessed by two adults and it is at this point that the bride raises her veil. While this is taking place, the choir may sing or the organist play a piece of music. The bridal procession then leaves the church in the following order: Bride and groom Young attendants Chief bridesmaid with the best man Bride’s mother with the groom’s father Groom’s mother with the bride’s father. If you are having bells, they will peal out at this point.


D R E A M W E D D I N G S I N B R I S T O L , S O M E R S E T & W I L T S H I R E • 2 9


GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK


The bride and groomshould always be the first to leave the reception. The bestman announces their


departure after they have changed into their going away clothes and, if the


bride is going to throw her bouquet, she should do so just before she leaves for her honeymoon.


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