NO-TORY-OUS By Victoria Hett
“Wooopeeeee my big toe has been sticking out of my old MSR socks for two years now, I can probably hold off on buying boots for another year too!”
Warlocks, Rice Rockets, Bambi & Socks
remember when, in high school, my friends and I were brag- ging about our graduation gifts and how excited we were about each other’s presents. A girlfriend would boast “Wow can you believe it, I got a car!” And another friend would say, “I got a season’s pass for the ski hill and a new snowboard!” Then I piped up and in a language foreign to them said: “OH MY GOD guys, I got a Motion Pro T6 tire lever with the 3/8 inch pretty blue drive adapter that fits in it so now I have a tire iron that is also a socket wrench, plus I got a dual box end wrench with my name engraved on it!” My smile is beaming and I am stoked that I have my name engraved on my special tools, and that I have one of the trickest new tools out there for my bum bag tool pack. Just think of the weight savings this will translate into during races I think to myself! My friends stare back at me, in silence, with blank expressions. Moments later I hear “So Trina…..what did you get?” and the conversation goes on. I still laugh about it to this day; they just didn’t understand how cool my present was. The girl that got the car doesn’t have it any more, it’s in a junk yard. The season ski pass my other friend got is just a distant memory, but my custom motion pro tools have seen plenty of use and are still at the ready in my tool box. How would reactions vary if you gave the ultimate tire and
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wheel gift to a dirt biker vs. a Honda Civic race junkie, and what kind of gifts would come close to matching each other in the hunt- ing world vs. the dirt bike world? I spent some time talking to people from all walks of life to come up with what each person’s ultimate gift would be, and then I tried to compare it to the equiv- alent dirt bike gift. Reactions anticipated for each gift are in- cluded! Video Gamer Gift: Xbox 360 Elite with blue thunder controller and one year subscription to online game of choice. Reaction: “Saweeeet now I can live on Xbox Live and meet my online buddies and maybe even meet a girl warlock or two, OMG maybe I’ll get an online girlfriend, I’ve always wanted a girlfriend!” Rider Gift: Luxury Trail Tech Voyager Moto GPS computer, Trail
Tech XD Headlight & 35mm LED Helmet lights with spare battery. Reaction: “Woooo now I can live on my dirt bike day and night! In- stead of fighting off all the psycho blonde bimbos who are hunting for their next ‘ baby daddy’ at the bar, I can stay in the mountains with my riding buddies, hit the trails well into the night and enjoy a beer after in peace.” Import Tuner Gift: 19 inch R10 Extreme Concave 3 piece wheels powder coated glass and matte black and Nitto NT555 low profile tires. Reaction: “ Sick – The Fast & The Furious movie was pretty much based on my life, it’s kind of a big deal. “
18 HOLIDAY BUYERS’ GUIDE 2012
Rider Gift: Complete set of fully laced Excel rims to match your bike with new IRC rubber, mousse tubes and an Off-Road Champi- ons tire stand. Reaction: “Mwa ha ha! I shall be the envy of all the poor suckers who suffer from flat tires and bent rims, who are doomed to spend hours truing wheels or changing tires between races or laps or on the cold concrete floor of their dark garage; in the wise words of Mr. T… I PITY THE FOO’S! “ Lazy Hunter’s Gift: Accuracy International .338 lapua AWM
L115A3 Rifle with Schmidt & Bender 5-25x56 Scope, folding stock, adjustable cheek piece, suppressor, adjustable Bi-pod, and five- round magazine. Reaction: “Ah yes, now I can set up shop in a tree stand and not have to get into the tight ugly forest to flush out any deer. Coffee cup in one hand, spotting scope in the other, nice cushiony seat, six point buck at a mile and a half, watch this head shot.”
Rider Gift: Gas Gas TXT Pro 300 Trials Bike x2 (One for parts bike). Reaction: “Whooaa no way! Now I can get into even tighter and uglier trails and scope out some impossible rock faces to try and climb – and now that I have no seat, I’ll be able to maneuver more and improve my balance!” Horsey Person Gift: Custom made Eamor Roping Saddle with stainless steel hardware, real bark tanned sheep skin lining, with latigo & billet, rear cinch and matching breast collar. Reaction: “Run cows run!!! This will make for a much nicer ride. I’m pretty sure this magically makes my horse 10 percent faster too!” Rider Gift: Riders Edge Suspension, complete fork & shock over- haul . Reaction: “ Faster smoother ride with top of the line suspen- sion, now I have no excuses, everyone will expect me to be at least 10 percent faster!” Average Joe: Socks. Reaction: “ummmm …thanks – next gift
please.”
Rider Gift: Socks. Reaction: “Wooopeeeee my big toe has been sticking out of my old MSR socks for 2 years now, I can probably hold off on buying boots for another year too! The added cushion of new socks takes away the pain of my footpeg trying to bust through the worn out soles of my boots! Canadian Championship here I come!”
This marks the end of the 2012 Season and I’d like to thank every- one for reading and supporting me throughout the year. I’d also like to recognize my friends and family for their support including: Dave Fair & family at Gas Gas Pacific for the amazing support, Gamma Sales, Rider’s Edge Suspension, Emperor Racing (formerly Scorpion Racing), A Vicious Cycle, Fasstco, Valley Motosport, Gnarly Parts, Advanced Pave-tech and many more! I hope your Christmas season is filled with the ones you love and that you may find a no fog cloth or some roll-off film in your stocking this year! Merry Christmas.
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