THE WEIRS TIMES & THE COCHECO TIMES, Thursday, May 17, 2012 Formerly & Everywhere! RFD# to the gulf stream waters 3 by Lorrie Baird
jim-lorrie@earthlink.net BUT WE’RE STILL HERE by Lorrie Baird At this time of the year
we’re supposed to be there in New Hampshire. But we’re still here in Flori- da because Jim lost his NH job. Here’s one for the “If you want to make God laugh… tell Him your plans file.” By this time you probably know that my husband is a polar bear. I am a parrot. For the first time in our lives we will not be spending an entire summer in New Hampshire. One of us is okay with that…one of us is having a teensy bit of trouble adjusting. In New Hampshire,
springtime debuts to the song “Summer Time and the Living Is Easy.” In Florida if we don’t spring out of bed at 6am and get out walking we will be broiled by 9am This, we learned the hard way when halfway through our morning walk we ended up carrying two dehy- drated dogs all the way home. In New Hampshire we
started our day with a bracing walk in sweat- shirts, swatting blackflies all the way. Here on the Nature Coast of Florida our bugs make love, not war…unless you bring your car into the equa- tion. When love bugs com- mit suicide on the hood of your car they get even by excreting this acid-like substance that eats holes in the paint. Jim washes the car and golf cart a lot. It’s becoming his only summer exercise. In New Hampshire my
toes didn’t dip into the swimming pool unt i l mid-June and not until
July 4th weekend in the Big Lake. This morning I joined a pool aerobics class in the big pool at the club. The water was 84 degrees. Ditto for our community pool which is just steps from our front door. Many of our friends have their own private pools. In short, we’ve been spending so much time in swimming pools we’re on our way to evolving gills and our skin is perma- nently puckered. Last Tuesday my polar
bear husband was invited to spend the afternoon hanging out in his bud- dy’s pool. Jim brought his own ice cubes which didn’t make a lick of dif- ference because the water temperature was 86 de- grees. With a cold drink in his hand and stretched out leisurely on full body rafts Jim and his buddy talked about guy stuff for three solid hours. I’ve been with my husband for five decades, I have never seen him sit so still…for so long…perfectly con- tent. “Summer Time and the Living is Comatose” is our new Florida life- style mantra. Florida na- tives move far more slowly in the summer. Now we know why. Jim’s fallen right into the
laconic summer lifestyle. The weeds are winning the garden war, and he’s perfectly okay with that. The bushes on the side of the house are threaten- ing a hostile takeover and he assures me between yawns that they will get trimmed before eating their way into our walls. Right now Jim’s stretched out on the couch reading. Page turning is the most exercise he’s getting these days.
Still, Jim is steadily los-
ing weight. That’s because my husband simply de- clines to eat anything substantial after break- fast when it’s hot outside. This, I do not understand because it’s 77 in our air conditioned house all day. I have not cooked a full meal in over two weeks because Jim has declared it’s too hot to eat. Me? If Amazon cannibals cap- tured me, threw me into a pot and were bringing me to a slow boil I’d inform them the very least they can do is grant me a last meal request. Contrast this to the
summer lifestyle we’ve lived in New Hampshire for five years. For the first three years working at the campground Jim spend the entire month See BAIRD on 23
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