Jen Fitton answers reader’s problems
Dear Jen I’m dreading Christmas. All the fuss, all the commercialism, all the stress, all the expense… I feel I can’t cope with it again and just want to go and hide.
I think most people will empathise with you as Christmas can be a could suggest that you start early, I wonder if the Scrooge’s Christ- mas needs a radical re-think? Before you become swept up in a frenzy of anxiety, take a couple of hours out to think how you would really like to spend Christmas - bearing in mind your budget! Perhaps doodle pictures or jot down ideas so that it clears your head of convention and what is ‘shoulds’, ‘oughts’ and ‘musts’ that crop up; these are rules that society imposes on us, not what
Dear Scrooge
How can you make your chosen Christmas happen? Do you need a complete change, or simply be less willing, delegate more, and leave out people who cause you stress? Do you need to be more assertive?
Doing what you would like to do, at Christmas or any other time, - dence to opt out of what other people demand or expect of
Scrooge
consider, but you also have the right to try new things, to have a Seeing the situation more ob- jectively and making a deliber- ate choice will help you to make changes and give you more en- ergy to follow through with your you will have actually chosen the sort of Christmas you are having - even if it is the same as usual!
Dear Jen
Have fun Jen
I know that as soon as New Year starts looming I’m going to be beating myself up about all the resolutions I made last year and the year before and the year before that. I’ll prom- ise to drink less, go to the gym, eat a healthier diet, get more organised, stop falling for the wrong people… but by the end complete failure again.
- erable start to the year as they become our personal bossy bul- lies, constantly telling us what we should and should not be doing don’t do as we’re told, they tell us we’re lazy, greedy, disorganised,
Dear Slacker
Slacker
and a complete failure… over and about ourselves when we choose friends like these? you must do or not do, and then beating yourself up when you disobey, why not simply decide to love and respect yourself, and sort out any issues that are getting in the way of your self-esteem and choose to treat yourself better simply because you want what’s best for your own self – mind and
Loving ourselves automatically means that we start to care for ourselves with a healthy lifestyle, because we are looking after our- selves as we would those we love
If you simply decide to start to respect yourself from now on, without any promises except to be self-aware, and to love and nurture yourself in an adult way, then I think you’ll be surprised how much better you soon begin
Good luck Jen
With Love and all Good Wishes for Christmas and the New Year,
Jen X
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