Meditate and see you parents as children
or as spiritual beings of light. See their actions as just wrong thinking on their part. See their innocence. Write some affirmations and pin them
up around your house, These can literally change your relationship overnight (as they did mine). Some suggestions are : • I forgive my mother/father/parents for their unconscious behaviour towards me
• I am perfect, whole and complete • My relationship is filled with joy
• I have only unconditional love for my parents
• My relationship with my dad becomes healthier and more joyous with each day What if you chose your
parents before you came to Earth because you knew that they were the perfect people to teach you what you needed to know in order to become the best that you could be?
FOR EXAMPLE: I coached Lorna* who came to me in her late twenties because she was having constant difficulties in her love life. She felt that she was always attracting over bearing, obnoxious and selfish types. She ended up doing everything for her partners while they usually treated her like a housemaid and her needs for emotional support were unmet. Lorna herself was very mild-mannered
and apologetic, with a very low opinion of herself – the type that these men would be drawn to. Lorna had grown up in a family where
her mother was always treated like a second-class citizen and never voiced her opinions much. Lorna’s father loved to boast, to have the
most money and the best cars and always talked far more than he listened. He liked Lorna best out of his children because she was always so polite and kind and never challenged him like her other siblings. He was prone to fits of rage, which frightened Lorna’s delicate nature – so she was careful never to do anything to enrage him. Despite how she acted, Lorna held a lot of
internal anger towards her father who still bossed her around and treated her like a child even in her late twenties. Through coaching, Lorna was able to see
the gifts that her parents had given her. Lorna had observed them from an early age (as all children do) and she developed characteristics that were the exact opposite to those of her father. She has a very humble, kind and calm nature, which draws others to her and makes her one of the leaders in her field of event management. While Lorna took a break from dating,
Lorna and I worked together on forgiveness of others: ex partners, mother and especially her father. We also worked on self-love and acceptance and what Lorna really wanted out of life.
She became a much more confident,
strong woman but she still retained her gentleness, kindness and graciousness. The very next relationship that she
attracted was with a man who admired her inner strength and confident nature. “He really listens to what I say and he values my opinions! “ She told me when I last spoke to her. This is because she values her own opinions now and listens to her own inner guidance.
Our parents are our first
and looking at your childhood from a new perspective can shed a whole new light on who you are and why.
role models. We can either take on their characteristics or we can choose to become the opposite. Usually we become a bit of both. The key words here are
awareness and perspective. Having awareness and looking at your childhood from a new perspective can shed a whole new light on who you are and why. Write down in one page
or so what your childhood was like. A story format written from an outsider’s
perspective is a good way to gain new insights. Be sure to include what the parents’ personalities were like and how all the children (including you) behaved in response to their personalities. Who have the children become now? What are their personalities like now? Once you have done this, can you see
how your personality was shaped, and how, without those particular parents, you wouldn’t have some of your best personality traits? If your parents are alive and you still see
them, notice how you respond to them when they are behaving in a manner that you don’t like. We usually have only two ways that
we respond. Maybe when you mother is critical of you, you either fly into a rage or you criticise her back. There are many other ways of responding, but you only ever choose to do one of these two. Ask yourself: Why am I choosing to
respond in an ineffectual way? (You know it’s ineffective because you
always respond to your mother’s criticism in the same ways and she hasn’t stopped criticising you yet!) Often, you are keeping the relationship
safe, you are allowing you and your mother to remain in your familiar roles. Ask yourself: How could I respond in a
more effective, mature way? Forgiveness of our parents is one of
the biggest keys in creating loving and harmonious relationships. There is nothing more enriching than to be loved and loving.
Melanie Young is a relationship coach. She is a life coach, NLP practitioner and hypnotherapist. Melanie lives with her husband and son on their organic farm in Victoria.
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