thought).As such, our grey matter would be in high demand by the gourmands of the zombie world. For zombie clients, our level-of-service calculatorswould


have to be totally redesigned.After all, zombies rarely, if ever, drive cars.As a matter of fact, they tend to hate cars, because those not yet infected tend to run themover. We all tend to agree that open, airy garagesmake for bet-


ter wayfinding. But, as those who are fans of Hollywood hor- ror movies know, parking garages are good places in which bad things can happen. Zombies would rather see the return of dark basement-


like parking facilities with lots of hiding places, so they can jump out and attack their unknowing victims. Hidden eleva- tors, claustrophobic ceiling heights, and flickering lights caus- ing ever shifting shadows are all that are needed to complete the wayfinding picture. As long as you can’t find yourway out of there, the zom-


bies have itmade. Another important element in the level-of-service picture


is traffic flowand ramping used.Most users prefer angle park- ing because it’s quicker to get in and out of the spaces. Zom- bies don’t like that. The longer we take to back out of the space, the better able they are to pull you from your “metal safe-house.” Parking consultants would love to use express ramps on


most every job, if cost considerations and efficiency allowed. The Undead don’t like those steep ramps at all.We do


tend to agree with them in one respect, though. For traffic calming purposes, we don’t like really long parking runs. For the Undead, really long parking runs, and their attendant greater speeds, make it harder to grab passing vehicles for a quick snack on-the-go. One last factor we use in determining the level of service


is the overall geometry of the facility and its parking spaces. Of course, baywidths and parking spacewidths are important


ngConsulting


and tend to have an inverse relationship to each other in some regard. If we have wider spaces, we can get away with nar- rower parking bays and vice versa. On the other hand, the uninfected and the Undead have a


totally inverse relationship.We don’t like them and they do like us (to eat). Redesigning the level of service, of course, would be just


one of the inconveniences of living in such a world.Working inAutoCAD while pedaling on a bike hooked to a generator to make electricity would also be pretty inconvenient. Let’s just hope that it never comes to this. Although, with the economy chugging along slowly as


it has been recently, that timemay come sooner than we like. I think I hear some shuffling feet and moaning outside.…I hope it’s just my boss and not something else.


Matt Feagins is a Principal and Senior Parking Consultant Walter P Moore. If you want to chance it, he can be reached at MFeagins@walterpmoore.com or (800) 364-7300.


PT NOVEMBER 2009 • PARKING TODAY • www.parkingtoday.com 41 AIMS U


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