Although Itmay look likeMatt Feagins is channeling the undead in an ancient cave, this is the entry/exit helix at the FIS garage at Houston' George Bush Intercontinental Airport.


W The Undead’s Guide to Parki


Ponderings from Halloween Just Past BY MATT FEAGINS


EHEREATPTARESPEECH- less, but felt you deserved to judge this article for yourself. We have it on good authority that Matt was clean and sober


when he wrote this piece. Editor. There is one theme I have been seeing a lot of lately at the


bookstores – tomes about the Undead. The Undead have always been considered “cool,” but they are now especially popular in the world of words. This was even before the seasonal release of Halloween-themed books now on store shelves. Whether it’s a book on howto survive a zombie attack or the


pathology of a zombie, the Underworld is everywhere. That got me to thinking:What would happen if the Undead took over theworld?Howwould the parking consultant be affect-


40 NOVEMBER 2009 • PARKING TODAY • www.parkingtoday.com


ed (and hopefully not infected)? I know what you are thinking: “Huh?What kind of connection is there?” For thosewho followa philosophy ofmind theory, a zombie


is basically a person without a sentient consciousness. These creatures appear in folklore and popular culture typically as rean- imated corpses or mindless human beings, and are mainly used for thought experiments. So, I contemplated, zombies would be a good idea for a


“thought experiment” regarding parking consulting.What if the world we live in had to coexist with a world filled with zombies? Would that change all thatwe love about our jobs as parking con- sultants, aswell aswhatwe regard as inherently compelling about the world of parking? Unfortunately, I think it would. First of all, it would be difficult to work without being inter-


rupted by those pesky zombies trying to break into your office and eat your brains.We all know that parking consultants are the smartest guys in the room (despite what those Enron guys


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