THE AMATEUR PARKER … Is There Any Such Thing as Free Valet? BY MELISSA BEAN STERZICK I


RARELY HAVEANYTHING NICE TO SAYABOUTVALET parking. It’s not because I’mtrying to losemy job as a columnist in this magazine. It’s simply because I hate to part with my mon- ey, and I especially hate to part with my money to pay for some- thing I can domyself.


For those who want to think this particular trait ofmine is a flaw, I will gladly assign


the responsibility (blame) for my thriftiness and strong sense of inde- pendence to my parents. They, in turn, would say I am actually just cheap and stubborn, because honesty is another family characteristic. Years of unreliable therapy from


Reader’s Digest and Vogue magazines have taught me that I am cheap because my grandparents were raised during the Depression.They taughtmy parents to be careful (tightfisted) with their money, and my parents made me cleanmy plate even though we weren’t starving and grow a garden even though there were several great gro- cery stores just minutes away, among other things. Letting a valet park my car is like


from


paying someone else to brush my teeth or watch me sleep – unnecessary and extravagant. It’s not like sewing curtains, some-


thing I have tried and been moderately successful at, but which, I freely admit, is not as easy as it looks. My curtains are nice, although not perfect, and I can live with that because they cost me a fraction of the price Iwould pay to have someone else make them. On the other hand, I don’t sew my own clothes – I tried and it did not go well – so I am resigned to paying someone else, such as Gap orAnthropologie, to sew them forme.We are all happier thatway, and I lookmuch better. My own cooking is fine, but if I


feel like eating French or Chinese food, I go to a restaurant. I make delicious tacos.My Beef Bourguignon andMoo Shu Chicken are not so good. Also, simple plumbing issues are completely under control, but I would never attempt to address any electrical situa- tions on my own. I will not drown in my kitchen sink, but the wiggly outlet in the bathroomcould killme. The point is, I do many things for


myself that I could pay someone else to do. I’d rather keep my money. And if there is anything I can do for myself at no cost whatsoever, it’s park. I can parkwhile yelling atmy kids,


talking on the phone, creating a gro- cery list in my head, listening to the radio or birdwatching. My full atten- tion is best and more acceptable to law enforcement officials and bleeding


32 OCTOBER 2009 • PARKING TODAY • www.parkingtoday.com


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