ASk laurie
Advice Column
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FaShion: Petunias 852 5th Ave South
Dear Laurie, I own a small local restaurant and recently opened a second
location. After years of long hours, low pay, and more than one moment of doubt, I'm now confident that my extra efforts will ultimately pay off in dividends.
comes, work infiltrates almost every aspect of my life. My husband has zero interest in working with (or for!) me, and it’s becoming more obvious that he resents my commitment to this dream. After seeing friendly texts from another woman on his cell, I’m afraid my long hours on the job are opening the door for real problems in my relationship. What should I do?! - Anonymous
Unfortunately, until that day
Dear Anonymous, Congratulations on your success! You had a dream, you followed
your heart and made it happen. I understand that you are now asking, but at what price? You are also wondering if your focus of energy, heart and time is jeopardizing your marriage. This scenario plays out in many relationships, and in many cases, it’s the man who is focused on his career. What is important in this situation is a heart connection. People
feel validated when his or her particular needs of “feeling loved” and being a priority are met. Ask him if he is willing have an open conver- sation because you are committed to repairing your marriage. This is not about blame, it’s about responsible communication. Sit down, hold hands and look into each other’s eyes. Say out loud, “This connection is to really listen, validate, connect, find solutions and follow through with actions. How are you feeling about our mar- riage?” Let him speak without interrupting, shaking your head or rolling your eyes in disagreement. Repeat back what he says, such as, “What I’m hearing is that you’re feeling…” This is your time to take personal responsibility. For example, “I’m
Sometimes you need the help of a hero.
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sorry that you’re feeling neglected. You're the most important person in my life, and I want you to know that every day!" Or, “I’m sorry that I haven’t kept all my promises. I’ve been late many times, and that is inconsiderate." Express to your husband that you love him very much and wish you had more time together. Next, ask, “What do you need? How can I help you feel loved and connected to me?” Write down his needs and requests on a piece of paper. Now it’s your turn to speak and do the same exercise with your
husband as the listener. Take both of your written notes and create a commitment plan. Decide which actions will become commitments. It’s imperative that you stick to these agreements once you make them. When your focus, intentions and actions are aligned with your commitments, both of you will create a more harmonious relation- ship!
From my heart to yours - Namaste! It's healthy to have these heart-to-heart connections often.
If you're interested in a life coaching session, please contact Laurie Martin at 239-398-5979. Laurie is a leader in the arena of self-love. As a professional speaker, certified life coach, author, and radio host, she shares her passion and knowledge by guiding others to tap into their own inspiration.
ready to rescue you. Heavy Lifters & Movers,
Golf, Tennis & Fitness Partners, Event Marketers,
Party Entertainers & Models, “Emergency” Dates, and Much More
Strong. Sincere. And ready to save the day. Muscle➃ Hire Laurie teaches
practical information on the “how to” of increasing self-love, confidence, self- esteem, and living a truthful, peaceful, empowered life by unraveling the percep- tions, thoughts and feelings that hold people back.
SmileAcrossYourHeart.com
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