F e a t u r e s


underwent a bone scan and CT scan to check for secondary spread. I remember being sick with fear. Next I had a tag inserted into the tumour which was excruciatingly painful; then I had the first round of surgery to remove some lymph nodes. My husband came with me to every appointment, supporting me and comforting me when I became distressed, all the time I could see he was suffering just as much as me.


We need him here


My husband was due to be deployed to the Falkland’s but there was no way he could go as we needed him here. I know others in the RAF had to fill his slot; this may have disrupted their lives going away earlier than expected but if he’d gone my children would have been devastated. Our youngest was already following her dad around asking him constantly where he was going every time he went out, her biggest fear was Dad going away to work again. He managed to work during the day; then when he came home he cared for me and the children, doing the cooking, cleaning and taking me to the hospital when I needed to go.


I started chemotherapy. This was to be aggressive and I needed six doses, three weeks apart, it took six hours to administer my chemo through an intravenous drip. Within two weeks my hair had come out, my head was blistered and sore, I lost my sense of taste, everything was foul, even water, my mouth was full of ulcers and painful. The worst thing was the pain in my abdomen and the diarrhoea. I had drugs to help with the nausea and vomiting, I was constantly tired, a deep down tiredness.


The chemo destroys not only cancer cells but all newly developing cells; it lowers your blood count leaving you open to infection. My nails stared to discolour and split, I also developed peripheral neuropathy which is numbing of the hands and feet. I had to have someone test the bath water for me as I couldn’t tell the temperature very well and I had burned my feet on one occasion. My concentration was not too good.


I would wake to find my daughter watching me


My daughter would not look at me if I did not have my headscarf on, as this reminded her visibly of my illness. I would wake in the morning to find her watching me, she began to cling more and more to her Dad. My son slowly began to come out of his shell but did not want to hear about cancer. He did not want to take part in ‘Wear it Pink’ day at


www.raf-ff.org.uk


school in support of breast cancer charities. To him it was more than an illness. Just before Christmas that year, I developed an infection and was taken into hospital as an emergency to have intravenous antibiotics.


On Christmas Eve I had another dose of chemo and returned home at 6.30 pm, glad to be home for Christmas Day. I couldn’t eat anything and slept through most of it. I was admitted again in February with neutropenia as the chemo had decimated my white blood cells. I was put in an isolation room, to stop


‘My husband came with me to every appointment,


supporting me and


comforting me when I became distressed, all the time I could


see he was suffering just as much as me’


me getting more infections and put on an endless round of drips; eventually I needed two units of blood. My husband looked really shattered with this development. He brought the kids in everyday to see me, my son found this particularly painful seeing me so ill.


Four weeks after my last chemo I had another round of surgery, this time to remove the tumour. After surgery I started three weeks of radiotherapy; this means going to the hospital every day for treatment. It only takes fifteen minutes max and involves lying on a table while two/three radiographers manipulate you into the same position every day, then a noisy machine moves around you slowly frying the area, hopefully killing any remaining cancer cells. This gradually makes you tired something sleep does not relieve, as the body yet again tries to heal itself.


I tried to explain everything would be all right I developed an infection in the radiotherapy burn and had to have the acute care nurses come into the home to administer antibiotics by drip. My children came home from school to find me hitched up to a drip with two nurses in the lounge; the youngest ran upstairs to her room. I later found her crying, I tried to explain


everything would be alright. Through all this my eldest was sitting her ‘A’ levels and my son his GCSE’s, they both passed with flying colours and we are very proud of them.


It is now twelve months since my diagnosis. I still go to the chemotherapy department every three weeks for intravenous drugs this takes a few hours to administer. Although this is no longer the nasty chemo drugs there are still side effects. My family has been through a rollercoaster of emotions. The kid’s family life and feeling of security has been completely shaken with my husband trying his best to hold everything together and maintain a stable home for them.


During this time I have managed to work on and off as this was my way of maintaining normality and trying to keep control of at least one area of my life. Many times my husband worried about me going to work but knew if I gave up I would just go under. Many cancer patients work taking time off just for their treatments some like me need to for mental stability and also because financially they could not manage.


Sadly cancer does not respect our plans, it follows its own timetable Cancer and its treatments vary from person to person and each case is different, one size does not fit all even with the same type of cancer. Even when treatments have finished the long-term effects go on, it does not end with treatment. During this time my husband has been contacted twice about being deployed, each time this has caused him a great deal of stress. We are hoping to extend our Preferential Treatment case to keep my husband near the family home, especially as I am still receiving treatment. The kids are worried about Dad working away again; their confidence has taken a battering and needs time to heal. Preferential Treatment cases do have a time limit; sadly cancer does not respect this and follows its own timetable.


So next time you hear of a Preferential Treatment case, please remember not everyone is trying to get out of going away or wanting the soft option, they are not awarded lightly. I know my husband would have preferred doing his duty rather than watch his wife undergo cancer treatment.


Throughout this we have had the help of our SSAFA worker, Carol Whittaker, who has worked tirelessly on our behalf, talking to the children and visiting regularly. We don’t know what the future holds but as long as we are together as a family we will be happy. 


Spring 2010 15


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