Why Can’t I Just Relax? And What To Do So You Can
and return to a resilient state. Evolu- tionary forces developed this system over the course of millennia. (Think of a lion chasing our forebears on the sa- vannah.) Our nervous system is beauti- fully designed to activate in response to a threat, and then to deactivate when the threat has passed. This phenomenon is sometimes described as the “fight or flight” response (or “fight, flight, freeze” response). Once the threat is gone, it no longer serves our survival to expend the tremendous energy it takes to maintain an activated state. In fact the opposite is true. Then, survival usually depends upon conserving as much energy as pos- sible.
However, in modern human beings H
ave you ever tried to relax, but find that you just can’t? Perhaps it’s the end of the day, the dishes
are done, the kids (pets, significant oth- er, etc.) are quiet, and it’s time to let go. You sit down in a comfortable chair with the TV on, or maybe with a good book or companion.
But relief doesn’t come... Instead of sinking down into a rest-
ful state, your mind starts to work. “Is ev- erything done?” “What do I need to do tomorrow?” “Did I forget something?” Maybe there aren’t only thoughts – but unpleasant physical sensations. Maybe
you feel jumpy, or “itchy”, like you can’t sit still. You might feel pressure in your head, or your heart is pounding, or un- comfortable electric sensations in your arms or legs. Or maybe the opposite - you feel totally shut down and numb, like a circuit breaker has flipped.
What’s going on? The above describes the symptoms
of a nervous system that has lost its natu- ral resilience. Like all mammals, human beings are biologically wired to identify and respond to threats (also known as stress), take appropriate defensive ac- tion, survive (hopefully!), then recover
this system can go awry. Typically this occurs when the system has been acti- vated, but (for reasons discussed below) has not been able to discharge the en- ergy that was charged up in response to the threat. This undischarged energy remains stored in the nervous system, waiting for an opportunity to complete the cycle of de-activation and return the system to normal. What are these “threats” that activate
the nervous system? Basically, a threat is whatever a particular nervous system perceives as a threat. Leaders in the field of trauma research express this principle by saying that trauma is in the person, not in the event. An event that might activate a fight-or-flight response in my nervous system might not activate yours at all – and vice-versa. Whether we get activated can depend upon our person- al histories, our genes, and a variety of other factors. (Of course there are some external threats, like a robber pointing a gun at one’s face, which would be per- ceived by most everyone’s nervous sys- tems as activating!) Thousands of years ago, our nervous systems might have been activated because a lion was chas- ing us for its potential lunch. Today, we could experience the same level of ac- tivation while making a presentation at work, when caught in a traffic jam, or while arguing with a spouse. What prevents a nervous system
from following the natural cycle of dis- charging this activated energy? The “dis- charge” part of the cycle is controlled by our parasympathetic nervous system, a part that is not under our voluntary con-
22 August 2010
www.naturalnutmeg.com
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