SEnine
HERBACEOUS
Old Trusty and Old Spiky
A 
bad workman part of the family and it was rumoured day, almost impaling itself through his
always that he over-wintered it under his bed stomach.
blamed rather than keep it outside or in some
his tools, dusty shed collecting cobwebs. However, the problem of storing
Herbaceous these inferior implements against the
knows, but there’s Observers used to note attentions of the light-fingered has
no reason why a good that ‘Old Trusty’ and been solved.
one, like himself, can’t be ‘Old Spikey’, his
permitted the occasional favoured fork, The old retainer’s cunning is one of his
grumble. almost stronger suits and after a raid on the
plots by local youths who carted off
His plot is now something became extra limbs numerous implements to mark out
of an implement as over the years they a BMX
cemetery, with snapped- seemed to adapt their shape to track in
off parts of spades and his increasingly bended frame. nearby
forks like gravestones woods
protruding at all angles, But both were now gone and in recent put his
helping to support years, he’d been through a succession of mind to
netting. unsatisfactory partners at an increasing security.
rate of knots.
Herbs still fondly
remembers ‘Old On the last occasion, the tines of a
Trusty’ a spade he was newly-purchased fork buckled on their It wouldn’t be fair to give away any state
given in his youth first introduction to the soil, a shame as secrets, but anyone turning his compost
with which more it no doubt had been shipped around tumbler would hear a clanging rather
trenches were dug the world by container from some than a plopping sound. It’s the last place
than most people distant land. the thieves would look, he reckoned.
have had hot The only problem being the contents
dinners. The wooden shaft of a previous aren’t hardly worth nicking.
incumbent had severed clean through
He considered it almost when Herbaceous was digging one
The Family Business that still offers a personal service
W. UDEN & SONS LTD
FAMILY FUNERAL DIRECTORS
ESTABLISHED 1881
 Covering all areas  Private Chapels of Rest
 Pre-paid Funerals  24 Hour Service
 Monumental Masons
Branches also at:
Petts Wood, Dulwich,
Forest Hill, Sidcup,
In the care of Nicholas & Matthew Uden New Cross & Camberwell
51 - 53 Passey Place, Eltham SE9 5DA
Tel: 020 8850 2868
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