horoscopes by vera divine
TAURUS April 21 – May 21
Your strong need to brainstorm and visualize is deeper than
usual. Follow it! Ideas are flowing with ease so you can’t the lookout for the next Benjamin Bratt to sweep
say you’re uninspired now! Beware of that motormouth you off your feet…or shine your boots, if that’s what
of yours, though! You can talk, talk, talk all you want but it you’re into.
doesn’t mean anyone will listen. Don’t worry, the demands
on you will begin to loosen but other people may tend to CAPRICORN December 23 – January 20
encourage you to act prematurely. Think things through be- What’s this? A special delivery just for you? Well it’s
fore you jump into something you may not want to commit about time the payback to all your hard work got here!
to in the future. With all the makeup they caked onto Jessica The best part is, no shipping fees! There’s no need to
Lange’s face for her role in Grey Gardens, you’d think she’d wait for the other stiletto to drop. There’s no catch to
never want to a film again! this influx of luck. All you need to worry about is how
to spend your downtime. A wise goat will know to rest
up for the next round of workdays. Maybe take after
fellow Cappy Jared Leto and send everyone a box of
GEMINI May 22 – June 21 Though you’re renowned for pulling off great mar- cupcakes in gratitude?
May will be a frenzied month for your career. You vels in a pinch, everyone is well aware that you’re only
will only have a couple weeks to make your mark! Af- human and that you too need a vacation from your AQUARIUS January 21 – February 19
ter that, your energy will move on to light someone wizardry once in a while! Take David Copperfield’s Hit the road, Jack. Somewhere out there is the
else’s fire. It’ll be easy to get addicted to all the career example and perform a disappearing act for a bit to perfect escape you need. You shouldn’t look for
momentum, but don’t take it for granted. You’ll find it relax. When you return, your audience will be more concrete objects, but rather personal mindsets that
easier to make progress now than at any other time. appreciative of you than ever before. an unfamiliar setting can put you in. The long road will
Give career projects and goals all you’ve got while provide you with perspective and having to ask for
the sun shines for you. Envision that you’re Stevie LIBRA September 24 – October 23 directions back to civilization will keep you humble. If
Nicks performing on stage—only with a revised You know, the term lunatic is based on the tradi- you can’t get away at the moment, you know exactly
wardrobe. tional link made in folklore between madness and why. The temporary hindrance will sort itself out by
the phases of the moon. We all know the craziness month’s end and you’ll be free to chase your spirit
CANCER June 22 – July 23 you can come up with, but don’t fear it! Flaunt it! It’s guide. Let’s hope that Tom Selleck’s guide tells him
This month, you can look forward to some help your driving force! Now is a vibrant time for you. With to shave that mustache and keep it off!
from Mars in your quest for a better career, now if only those around you being so supportive, you should
that feisty little troll could help out with the laundry, be enthusiastic about the news you receive. By week PISCES February 20 – March 20
huh? Around the third week of the month, you’ll get three, you should be, as Alicia Silverstone once put Oh, sweet child of mine, you give love a bad name.
your taste of fame. You’ll be unusually assertive and it, sublimely happy! Yay, project! Pour some sugar on me or I’ll rock you like a hurricane!
single minded in your quest to win people’s attention. 1980s hair-bands were on to something, you know.
Just remember that your personal style is what will SCORPIO October 24 – November 22 Maybe not with hair care or fashion trends, but they
stay engrained in everyone’s memory. It didn’t take Girrrrrl! Where have you been? Over the past few sure knew a thing or two about sweltering love affairs.
Cyndi Lauper too long to show her true colors! months your career has overpowered every living Some say that’s just not what a mature relationship is
decision you’ve made and it hasn’t left much room about. I say keep the faith. Take a chance and prove
LEO July 24 – August 23 for romance! Don’t let your bed-life die! People jaded naysayers wrong by indulging in a romantic
Aww, no roar for us this month, huh Leo? I know. around you want to help! Maybe not in bed…but so- rollercoaster of passion and wild abandon. At the
It’s so hard for creatures like you to shine when you’re cially! Stay open to any suggestions that are thrown very least, you will have learned what a week-long
broke. Forget these disappointments! You are a bold, at you—even if they seem outlandish. Have faith in relationship feels like! Jon Bon Jovi would be proud!
ravenous beast who can make a party out of a lighter the judgment of those who care for you. Do you think
and a bottle of Bacardi 151! Use your instincts and that Linda Evans was always crazy about the idea of ARIES March 21 – April 20
utilize the city’s free resources to make May the party getting slapped and being called a bitch on camera? The months ahead will start on a very sociable note.
month it was meant to be. Learn from past experi- It took love to get her there! The eerily sudden burst of fun and humor coming
ences in your search for professional success and stay out of you will take everyone by surprise. Don’t be in-
out of the muddier waters. You never know what kind SAGITTARIUS November 23 – December 22 sulted, just continue the flood of enthusiasm. They’ll
of trouble you could get into…well, Martha Stewart Oh dear. Much like those grown-out roots, your per- catch on. Outside of work, look forward to delicious
knows. sonal life needs serious attention. Outside feedback romantic distractions, but remember that friends
can bring you to a healthy level of perspective, but will be most important throughout the month. One
VIRGO August 24 – September 23 only you can sort it all out. Your friends, roommates friend in particular is likely to go through some major
Such expectations! Such disappointment! It and family should stay out of your way while you changes in his or her life, and it will be up to you to
will be okay as long as you realize that most of that organize your YOU-time. Be prepared for a potentially motivate them through this tricky time. Be a better
anticipation is coming from none other than you! hot month. Keep your love antenna up and be on friend than Vince Vaughn was in Swingers.
96 RAGE monthly | MAY 2009
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