WORKPLACE COLLABORATION
that you only want to help him work through the issue and get him back to his usual self. This needs to be done in a non-accusatory and non-judgmental manner. Remember, your goal is to get them talking, not to become defensive or withdrawn.
At this point, you can be quiet to give him a chance to think through your questions and decide upon his answer. If he doesn’t answer, you can ask again if he would like to talk about the problem. Offer to listen if he decides he wants to talk later. If you show you are uncomfortable, that will make the situation more awkward and his thoughts will center on ending the discussion as quickly as possible. If he does answer your question, simply listen. Keep your
eyes focused on him (but do not stare), nod your head (to acknowledge his words) and offer words such as “I can see why you’d think that” and “I understand” (only if you do). If you’re unsure what his response means, repeat the confusing phrase and say “I’m not sure I know what that means.” You can also ask “…and you felt?”, “how else could that be interpreted?” or “that’s why you are (describe how they are)”. You can also start a statement with the phrase “that must have made you feel.” When you are at this point, you are at or close to the core of the problem.
Uncomfortable? Yes. Acknowledge it by saying,“I am a little out of my comfort zone here” or “I don’t know what to say”. You can even ask, “What do you want me to say?” as long as it is said with concern and not sarcasm. It will help you get through the next similar conversation. The second situation with Joe and Mike is that their
disagreement that has spilled over and is affecting other people. They speak to each other only when necessary and exchange the minimum amount of information. Tension surrounds them and others have come to you because that environment is affecting the entire department. What can you do? Address the issue with them together. You: “Mike, tell us what happened and Joe, you cannot
interrupt. You will have your turn.” As Mike is relating his perspective, you can ask clarifying questions for additional details. Before you allow Joe to begin, ask, “Mike, what were you thinking, what thoughts were in your mind when this happened? Why do you think Joe did what he did?” Then do the same with Joe. You: “Thank you both for sharing your perspective/ side of the story. I see some commonalities between your versions,” then list them. Say, “The point of contention/ tipping point seems to be _____.” Use Mike’s words to describe what Mike did, then ask him, “Is there anything
APPROACH
CAPTURE
PUSH-BACK
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