Hi, babies! It’s my first month and quite evident that I needed to sashay my ass into Minneapolis. People with problems have been blowin’ my inbox up more than a Rentboy’s cell phone at 2 a.m.! Let’s get down to business, shall we? While I do appreciate those seeking advice on what to do about their misfit best friends, or the roommate from hell that fucked their man and moved out in the middle of the night owing back rent, it’s the relationship woes that are the most fun! This month, let’s take a look at a few cheaters who are definitely in need of some good advice. You know they came to the right place, hunty!
Dear Miss Tiger,
My partner and I have been together for nine years. We bought a condo and now I’m regretting that decision. Our very gay next-door neighbor is tearing our marriage apart! He takes advantage of the fact that my husband works in construction and constantly asks him over for help with repairs. When my husband returns home, he smells as if he’s just showered. Should I ask him if they’re having an affair? -Carlos
Dear Your Whoring Neighbor Can Only Tear Apart What’s Already Broken, Let me tell you something, boo. Do you really have to ask what you and I already know? The only fucking thing your man is working on next door is the plumbing .... more specifically, the pipe between your neighbor’s fucking legs. It looks like his 7 year itch came two years late - let’s hope that “itch” doesn’t spread into a nasty rash that has all three of you motha fuckahs down at the free clinic!
Dear Miss Tiger,
My boyfriend is fucking my twin brother. Tell me what to do! -Matt
Dear Why Ya Mad Because I Thought Twins Shared Everything,
If YOU had known what to do, as in how to pick a man worth keeping, your ass wouldn’t be in this situation. Let’s see ... it looks like you’re the gum that lost its flavor, so now your man’s chewin’ on a new piece. Darling, when somebody wants new dick, there really ain’t shit you can do about it, other than let them go and get it. Well, maybe there’s one more thing you can do ... cut the bastard on the way out!
Need advice? Write me or ask your questions during The Derek and Romaine Show on SiriusXM OutQ Channel 109 - February 10th 8pm CST. Its Favorite Bitch ... LIVE and ready for bullshit!
Dear Miss Tiger,
I’m having an affair with a married man. I used to be okay with our arrangement but now I’m in love with him. I should also tell you I’m gay. How do I ask him to leave his wife? -Patrick
Dear Tips For Fucking A Politician Or Preacher Who’s On The Down Low,
This bullshit is another case of a man wanting to have his cake and eat it too. Literally. So, bend the fuck over and serve that son of a bitch another slice. I’m sure you get off at the fact that he’s married. You know you’re bragging to all your friends about the ‘straight’ dick you’ve been riding. I’m also confident in saying that you feel absolutely grand in the role as mistress. Now that all this chaos has caught up with you, you’ve come looking for sympathy disguised as advice. If you wanted someone to feel sorry for ya, then you should’ve picked up a local paper and written Dear Abby and not Miss Tiger.
P.S.
Next time you deep throat your man’s cock, just try and get use to the taste of wifey’s pussy, ‘cause he’s not about to leave her to come and play house with you!
Miss Tiger Advice columnist • SiriusXM radio personality ... and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH Website
FavoriteBitch.com Twitter @MissTiger Advice
ask@misstiger.com
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