And when they do know what assistance they can receive, they often are overwhelmed by the numerous, complicated health care systems they must navigate through to receive help.
■ The legal and financial matters. Military caregivers often are required to make decisions about intricate legal and financial matters that can have lasting implications for the whole family. In many cases, caregivers are relatively young, and they are forced to confront issues with which they have little or no experience.
■ The health consequences of caregiving. Military family caregivers often are taking care of their loved one on a full-time basis, with few chances for respite; the physical and emotional demands on these caregivers sometimes can lead to the caregivers becoming ill. Studies indicate around 16 to 18 percent of caregivers experience a decline in their own health after taking on the caregiving role, and between 40 and 70 percent of them develop depression.
Heavy toll on relationships
When Rachel O’Hern’s husband was injured in Afghanistan about three years ago, losing both of his legs and his right hand as a result, their marriage changed — and they both knew it. She had to learn to relate to him as an injured soldier, and he had to learn to accept what happened to him on the battlefield, which made for a difficult transition for the couple.
“When he got hurt, he went from being such a strong, independent guy to not being able to feed himself — and that’s a tough emotional transition for everybody,” she says. “I wasn’t used to having to help with all that stuff, and he sure wasn’t used to having to ask for, or accept, that level of assistance, so it was really hard.”
Capt. Larkin O’Hern is now back on the job, assigned to the Army’s Office of the Chief Legislative Liaison. He drives a car and does laundry, and Rachel O’Hern describes her life as “reasonably normal.”
When Army Maj. Kevin Polosky’s wife, also a soldier, developed autoimmune disorders after being injured in Afghanistan in 2008, he went through a similar struggle with the changes in his wife and in his marriage.
“The biggest thing I’ve learned is that you have to come to grips with the fact that your spouse is different. It sounds very easy, but it’s not easy to do at all,” he says. “I tell people all the time that I would get really angry at my wife for getting hurt, which is completely selfish. You don’t even know why you’re doing it, but you’re just mad because you had this life planned together, and now you can’t do it. And here’s this person I fell in love with, and we shared all these things in common, and now we can’t do any of those things anymore.”
According to research psychologist Dr. Allison Holmes of the Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress (CSTS), these kinds of challenges are common among family caregivers: Not only are they coping with the physical, psychological, and financial changes that have taken place when caring for their wounded veterans, they also experience significant relationship changes. And the effects don’t end with the marriage, says Holmes, as children in the home also feel the transition.
“Children are definitely facing a lot of challenges, whether it’s in school, or emotionally, or getting along with peers,” Holmes says.
Many of the stressors children experience are precipitated by changing roles within the family. In some cases, older children might take on a parenting-type role, caring for their younger siblings to free up their caregiving parent’s time to focus on the injured veteran.
To gain more of an understanding of the effects caregiving can have on an entire family dynamic, CSTS currently is conducting a study called Families OverComing Under Stress-Combat Injuries, or FOCUS-CI. In this study, CSTS researchers will follow military caregivers for two years to determine areas where families face the biggest challenges after a combat injury, as well as the resources available to them and the effectiveness of those resources.
With more research providing greater intelligence about the impact of caregiving on military families, resources can be directed more effectively to offer long-term support to those whose lives have been permanently changed as a result of a family member’s military service.
“All of a sudden, I had a plan for my life that got completely out of whack because of my wife’s injury,” Polosky says, “and until I dealt with that personally and understood how it changed my life — and that’s not a bad thing — it was a struggle.”
MO
— Kenya McCullum is a freelance writer based in California. Her last feature article for Military Officer was “Simply Fit,” January 2014.
Help Is on the Way
MOAA will release Tips for Lifelong Caregiving, an online guide for caregivers of wounded, ill, and injured servicemembers, later this year. An Elizabeth Dole Foundation Innovation Grant helped fund the project; USAA, VetsFirst, and the American Bar Association are sharing their expertise, while Fig Leaf Software and Google will provide digital support services.
FEBRUARY 2014 MILITARY OFFICER 59
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