for introducing their child to the sport. Triathlete parents, in particular, often hope their son or daughter will be taken by the sport they themselves love. Therefore, it can be difficult to know how much to encourage or cajole and when to allow their child to turn in his or her USA Triathlon Youth membership card. It doesn’t help that kids often seem to love the training one week and are ready to throw their goggles in the garbage the next.
The bottom line is that the majority of youth participants in triathlon say that they want to try the sport because it looks like fun. “Winning” is much further down the “Why I train and race” list, and behind goals such as “learning to swim,” “trying to go fast,” “hanging out with my triathlon buddies” and “finishing and earning a medal.” Below are some tips to help keep the fun going.
Reality Check: If you are expecting your child to match your enthusiasm for triathlon, you need a reality check. Wanting to take a night off from swimming or becoming worried about how they will perform on race day, are completely normal concerns. Successful sport parents recognize the boundary between what they want versus the interests and motivations of their young triathlete. If you are not sure of the difference between your wishes and your child’s desires, just ask. Or, better yet, just watch. Notice where he or she expends energy outside of the school day. Is your child asking to train or does he or she need to be dragged out the door on Saturday morning? Does your young athlete want to run comfortably and finish, or are they looking to beat the person in front of them? You may not want to acknowledge that your child is not on the same page as you, but this is exactly what you need to understand to keep it a fun experience for everyone.
Under-Coach: A sport parent is better off under- coaching than over-coaching. This is especially important in triathlon where a parent can stand on the pool deck, lean over the gate in transition or run alongside their child as they finish the last quarter mile. A triathlete parent recently said to me that as a triathlete himself he had his child over-prepared (and thus over-anxious) for her race. In his effort to explain a variety of possibilities that could occur during the race, he caused her to freeze up. This is a far too frequent occurrence, particularly for triathlete parents, who in their own races understandably try to leave as little to chance as possible. Yet in a child’s mind, over-analysis can
14 USA TRIATHLON YOUTH GUIDE
lead to a fear that he/she might do something wrong or embarrass himself/herself. Of course, your child needs information in order to perform, but sport parents must ask themselves: What does my child really “need to know?” Is this something my child could figure out on his/her own even if it slows him/her down or causes him/her to miss out on a particular opportunity? And, you should also consider if there is someone else who might be able to deliver the same information without igniting as much concern or push back. Remember, it is easy to comment, but your youngster may hear your advice as criticism. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your child athlete is to say nothing at all.
Race Preparation: Preparing your child for a race should mostly be about setting small, realistic goals. It may seem obvious, but it is worth remembering that the goals should come more from your child than yourself. If, however, his/ her goals seem overly competitive, you can help by reminding him/her that this is supposed to be about having fun. For some, getting through the swim may be a huge accomplishment, while others may feel that it would be fun to try and place in their age group. There’s nothing wrong with having particular results—including just finishing— as goals. It is critical, however, that obtaining that result not be the only goal, because races can be devilishly unpredictable. Working on gliding in the swim or downshifting at appropriate times on the bike, or keeping an even pace on the run, might be side goals your racer can focus on so that they see that paying attention to things they can control is what eventually leads to finishing strong.
Priorities: Fitting triathlon into the busy lives of typical families requires understanding the family’s priorities. If you want to know what your priorities are, just look at the past week and where you and your children have been spending your time. How you rearrange your schedule depends on whether you want to move triathlon up on the priority list (and thereby move something down). We all have the same 24 hours to work with, and one mistake is to make triathlon training so much of a priority that it leaves your child overly segregated from the rest of the family at night or on weekends, or with one parent too much of the time. Priorities need to be reexamined month to month or at least season to season. Families need to obtain a balance by fitting triathlon into the other important aspects of their lives rather than vice versa.
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