MISFIT
Window Worries S
pring is here, the birds are twittering away looking for a mate, the buds are bursting, all’s right with the world. The spring stock is safely gathered in, the overdraft is burgeoning and it is time to do something about the window, to show said stock to its best advantage and lure
the punters out of hibernation and through the door. Totally lacking in artistic talent myself and devoid of any bright ideas for a theme this year, I did what they do in the army, where an officer who is similarly clueless passes the buck by saying “carry on Sergeant” in the uncertain knowledge that his underling will know what to do. In my case it meant giving the responsibility for dressing the window to our first sales who is an amateur painter. When I observed her emerging from the depths of the stock room bearing
the plastic flowers with which we have adorned the window for some years now I realised she had ignored the opportunity to expand her artistic horizons which is what I had expected, and was simply going to repeat last year’s uninspired performance. She did make the point that the daffodils might be better for a wash. On closer inspection it turned out that most of them were candidates for a trip to the recycling depot. It was when she said she could bring them up as new by judicious use of her paintbrush that I realised I had made a terrible mistake. After prolonged discussion a decision was arrived at. The
plastic daffodils went in the bin and I volunteered to go out into the wide world in search of inspiration and products to liven up the window. I thought having some live exotic pot plants would be a good idea, but was dissuaded by Mrs. M. who is something of an expert in matters horticultural; she pointed out that they have a tendency to drop leaves, have diseases and attract insects as well as needing regular watering. Further discussion with Mrs. M. came up with the idea of using the children’s redundant toys, but when we looked at the toys not one was intact. I thought of buying some furry colourful toys which I thought might attract attention to the window. In spite of being voted down (Misfit Shoes is nothing if not a democracy except when I say otherwise.) I still think this would have worked. A friend, hearing of my problem, suggested his son’s boa
Negative. The message was: you have just walked past a shoe shop, and
you are going to go on walking. And then inspiration struck. I came upon a curious shop that opened about a year ago which sells intriguing bits and pieces. The stock is perpetually changing so you never know what to expect. Mrs. M. spends a lot of time there disposing of the shop’s measly profits. They had some attractive mugs in the window which led me to think that
our stained and chipped mugs could do with replacing, so in I went, picked up the necessary mugs and then spied the very thing for the window. It was a white globe with a light inside which changed colour every ten seconds. Just how it does this I do not know, but for a fiver each it was just the job for calling attention to our wonderful wares. Now the globes are sitting amongst the shoes in the window and people
are stopping to look, and a percentage come in to try shoes on, and a percentage of those give us money and take our shoes away, so all is peace and quiet again. The only downside is that I have suddenly become an expert window dresser which I am not and do not wish to be. I know the window is
The only downside is that I have suddenly become an expert window dresser which I am not and do not wish to be. I know the window is important. I know it goes on the advertising budget and is the cheapest and best medium we have and in theory I should be changing it every week with fascinating new ideas to stop the punters in their tracks, but I am not the man for that job, and seemingly none of our people are up to it either.
constrictor might be a draw, but the entire staff vetoed this without debate, even though the animal spends most of its time asleep and lives in a solid glass cage. When I told them it had to be fed a dead mouse every day they came up with a more emphatic veto. So much for wildlife. In the end I went out and bought some attractive, and expensive, vases
and some artificial tulips which was the end of my attempt to come up with something original and exciting. The imitation grass was duly spread out, the bowls placed at strategic
points, the tulips arranged in the bowls and carefully selected styles from the new spring collection placed to best advantage in the window. As I always do, I made a point of not going out to look at the newly
dressed window, as it always looks fresh after the tired old effort that went before. I come along the next morning and try to pretend I am an ordinary human passing by, and see what effect it has on me.
12 • FOOTWEAR TODAY • APRIL 2012
important. I know it goes on the advertising budget and is the cheapest and best medium we have and in theory I should be changing it every week with fascinating new ideas to stop the punters in their tracks, but I am not the man for that job, and seemingly none of our people are up to it either. I could spend money, and it would not be coppers, on a professional
window dresser, but when I see some expertly dressed windows I wonder if they actually draw the customers in, which is what I want. The professionals tend to err on the side of artistry as against selling. I’m not even sure a window is really necessary. Supermarkets don’t have them and they do all right. Mrs. M. pointed out the fallacy there: “Everyone knows who they are and no-one knows who you are.” which is nice coming from the woman I have lived with for years. Actually I know what she is getting at even if it is not literally true. There’s nothing for it. Somehow I have to discover the Picasso in me.
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