P ARENTS COLUMN
Creating a positive sport-family environment
by DAVID BENZEL H
elping your child excel at a sport that you both love can be an incredible ex- perience, or it can become a tension-
filled, pressure-packed journey with disappoint- ing results. Here are some guidelines to help you maximize your child’s potential without compro- mising the fun factor or family relationships. Challenge and support without pressurizing Optimizing your child’s experience as a par-
ent means your goal is to find the right balance of support and push, without adding performance pressures. Finding this balance can be a tricky, es- pecially as you begin to notice your child’s prog- ress. Try not to let your dreams and expectations exceed your child’s athletic appetite or goals. Al- low performance pressure to come from within the child, not from your ego. Be the facilitator by teaching the concept of hard work, without becoming the manager by demanding perfection.
Collaborate on goal-setting Teach your child the benefits of setting
and verbalizing goals by creating them together. Goal-setting will help your child maintain focus throughout the season, but only if there’s owner- ship by the child. Observe your child’s work ethic to get a sense of the “hunger” factor. It will let you know how committed he is to improving. Your child’s hunger is not something for you to manipulate. Remember, a mouse does not run a maze because of the cheese. It runs the maze be- cause he’s hungry! Parents who try to make their kids “run the maze” when they aren’t hungry are usually responsible for driving them out of sports.
Allow coaches to coach Even the greatest athletes in the world look
for assistance when it comes to coaching their own kids. Your child’s progress can be inhibited when you interfere with the technical aspects of coaching or undermine a coach’s strategy. Chil- dren frequently interpret coaching from a parent as criticism. Tat is not to say you cannot help your child’s progress, but a supportive parent takes a different approach.
Do you have a competitive skater? A skater seeking to advance through
the test system in one or more disciplines? Do you ever wonder how you, as a parent, can best support your child? You want them to experience suc- cess, growth. You want them, most of all, to feel good about themselves. What can you do to support them in their competitive pursuit? It can be so hard just to watch. David Benzel, founder, Growing Champions for Life, offers his perspec-
tive on parenting the competitive athlete. He suggests that our parenting has less to do with how we seek to advance them in their sport, and more to do with the environment we create for them within which they can dis- cover their own passion, their own ability, their own competence. We ap- preciate his contribution to our skating community in this article. As always, we encourage your comments, as these articles are intend-
ed for conversation within your homes, within your clubs, within your skat- ing communities.
Gordon L. Benson, Chair Parents Committee
Keep it fundamentally fun As in any other competitive sport, the com-
Learn to ask non-
judgmental open-ended questions about what’s working, what’s enjoyable, what’s challenging, and how your child feels about her efforts. If you’re confused about a coach’s philosophy or strategy, speak directly to the coach for answers to your questions. Before assuming that your off-the-ice advice will be helpful, check with your child’s coach to determine what would best serve the overall strategy being implemented by the coach.
petition portion of your child’s skating can get in the way of the reason he or she fell in love with being on the ice — the pure fun of it! Terefore, it’s important to keep your mood light and to find the humor in repeated stumbles. (“I saw you checking the ice for cracks again.”) Play word games with skating terminology. Make up funny metaphors to describe specific elements or skills. One of the most overlooked options is to let children skate for fun with their friends without the structure of a lesson or work on a program. When skating is fun, practice sessions, careers and relationships last longer. Show complete confidence Attempts to push your child through a
performance slump can have a disastrous effect on your relationship. More than any other fear, children fear disappointing their parents. If you appear to be distraught over temporary perfor- mance issues the problem will be magnified in your child’s mind. Conversely, if your child can see that you have total faith in his or her abilities, in spite of the current problem, slumps disappear
as quickly as they show up. It may be nerves, fa- tigue or frustration holding them back, so be pre- pared to talk about the situation, but not dwell on it.
www.growingchampionsforlife.com SKATING 49
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60