IP readers’ worries -4th spasm


: I gave up watching Downton Abbey because of the sheer diabolical awfulness of Aviva’s ads. By way of protest, I cancelled my motor insurance with them. They couldn’t care less. No flowers, no apologies. We seem to live in an infinitely less elegant world than we used to. I blame the Lib Dems and the ABI. Am I being unreasonable?


Q A


: Well, yes and no. On the one hand, you are and, on the other, you aren’t. I hope this helps. Incidentally, I feel that your mention of the Lib Dems and the ABI is wholly appropriate. They have so very much in common. I really, really want to say a loud “Boo!” to them and watch them flee in terror.


was. “Well”, I said, “I’m in bed with Q


: I phoned in sick last week and my boss asked me how sick I


my mother-in-law....and my sister”. He said, “You’ll get a first written warning first thing in the morning”. I said “Bring it on, Sugarcheeks. Come round now and do your worst”. He was there within minutes, carrying a bottle, but I’d gone down the pub. The girls told me later they’d had a riot. Do I need a lawyer?


: Please don’t waste your money on a lawyer. Most of them are useless. You do realise, don’t you, that nothing bad will come of this, except possibly a couple of unwanted pregnancies (and that’s a worst-case scenario)? You’ve been here before and I’d just keep on doing the job as if the incident had simply never happened.


A


Utmost Good Faith applied to them as well as to their proposers and policyholders. “Treating customers fairly” lasted a couple of years but,


Q


: I remember the old days when insurers still believed that


despite all the cant and the lip- service, nobody with half an eye or half a mind could possibly take it seriously. Indeed, as was widely predicted by the print media, if not by sprightly 67-year old Anne Robinson, it effectively died the death a year or so ago. What with commission-chasing, fee-charging intermediaries and cynical insurers, seemingly indifferent to the concept of customer satisfaction, TCF never really had a chance. Some would disagree.


A


: I do, actually. Furthermore, I cannot possibly agree with your somewhat dismissive description of Miss Anne Robinson. I find her absolutely stunning. I just adore clever women. Anne is (in alphabetical order) chic, comely, dishy, extremely symmetrical, gorgeous, graceful, refined, shapely, stylish, well-formed. She dazzles me. The stuff of dreams! My Helen of Troy, my Venus de Merseyside.


You sit in an unventilated flea- ridden cubicle all day - unless you’re the boss


You can’t fiddle your expenses by more than a £1,000 a month - unless you’re the boss


You can’t look down your nose at everyone - unless you’re the boss


You’re not invited to free-load at industry jollies three times a week - unless you’re the boss


You’re gay? It’s O.K. - unless you’re the boss


You can’t have a gi-normous table in your office - unless you’re the boss


You suffer performance appraisal at the hands of people who hate your guts - unless you’re the boss


You are at constant risk of being declared redundant - unless you’re the boss


The truth is usually pretty high on your agenda - unless you’re the boss. Personally, I’ve always found it best to avoid the truth. It invariably leads to unnecessary complications.


NOVEMBER 2011 insurancepeople 21


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