Rock the Boat
Caught Napping
DON’T TELL MY WIFE WHAT I REALLY DO ON DAY TRIPS BY ALEX MATTHEWS
IT’S A LAZY MORNING AT HOME, and I’m planning a day trip. My wife is meeting one of her friends for shop- ping and coffee. Perfect! I’m cleared for paddling, as long as I’m back in time for dinner. “Honey,” I call, “I’m just heading out
for a paddle. I’m not sure when I’ll be back. It might be a long day.” I start tossing gear into my duffel,
throwing in my tent, sleeping bag, mat- tress, pillow, a novel, cookies, sandwich- es and a thermos of hot chocolate. Her brow knits as I continue to stuff in
my PFD, spray skirt, fleece and jacket. “Aren’t you taking an awful lot for a
day trip?” “Well, you can’t be too sure,” I say.
“If I did get into nasty conditions, hav- ing camping gear would give me a huge
house, folks at home will naturally as- sume that you’re off being gnarly and adventurous, cranking out mile after mile. What nobody suspects is that you really only paddle for about an hour, heading to a favou- rite secluded spot. Once at your site, you set up your
tent, get out your sleeping bag, mattress and book, and burrow into your nest. Lie there soaking up the sounds of the shoreline. Eat a few bonbons and have a sip of hot chocolate. Sprawl out, hog- ging every inch of the bed, wiggle your toes and luxuriate. Now, the key component of the nau-
tical napping relaxation system: open your book and start reading until your eyelids become too heavy to hold open. And then—drop off to sleep. Fantastic!
You can be confident that any telltale signs of drool will be mistaken for sea salt.
safety advantage. I could wait things out until it was safe to proceed, even over- night. It would be foolhardy to take less. Having enough food is key too.” I hold her gaze steadily as I slip a large box of Turkish delight into the duffel. She gives me a peck on the cheek.
“I’m glad that you’re so safety conscious, Sweetie.” And just like that, I’m on my way. What no one knows is that I’m not re-
ally going paddling, per se. I’m actually off to practice a revolutionary new take on kayak touring. It’s my own innova- tion that I call nautical napping. Here’s how nautical napping works:
You head out for a day paddle. Since you’ll spend many hours out of the
It’s that simple—anyone can travel
across water to breathtakingly beautiful locations, and fall asleep there. And this is all possible for just pennies per outing. I know what you’re thinking. You’re
saying to yourself, “Hey, I live in a city. Where can I go nautical napping?” The potential sites are many. You don’t have to limit yourself to areas that permit overnight camping, since you’ll only be there for a few hours. Any quiet spot by the water is perfect. Waterfront public parks in the city are prime locations. And nautical napping isn’t fair-weather dependent either; rainy days are ideal. You may also be asking yourself, “Am
I qualified to nap nautically?” Friend, if you have a kayak and enjoy
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