Page 44 

Staffroom confidential

A funny thing happened… …in our art class

During a Year 4 art lesson I asked: “Why do people paint pictures?” I was hoping for an answer that referred to creativity, or enjoyment of painting, but had to laugh when one boy pragmatically suggested: “It’s so you’ve got something to put up and hide the holes in the wallpaper that the parrot has made.”

David, Bolton

In an art lesson last summer, my special needs class were allowed outside in the school grounds and given instructions to draw what they could see in front of them. After ten minutes, one of the boys came back with a perfectly drawn rectangle. When I asked what it was a picture of, he replied: “My piece of paper, Miss. That’s what I could see in front of me.”

Jackie, Birmingham

The children had been learning about plants and each table was set up with a flower-related activity. A Year 1 boy asked what he should do next. I directed him to the art table and suggested he paint the flower. A few moments later I looked around to see the dandelion covered in blue paint and the child smiling with satisfaction!

Wendy, Bradford

In my first year of teaching, I planned an art lesson for 30 pupils. On the day, I panicked – how could I manage 30 children and paint single-handedly? In desperation, I phoned my sister, who was at home during her university summer holidays. She agreed to help me out.

The children were curious to know who she was. When she explained she was my sister, one of the girls shook her head like a wise old woman and commented: “She doesn’t look old enough to have a sister.”

Danielle, Norfolk

I was marking a Year 7 test on Monet and colour theory and came across some interesting responses to questions.

Q: Who was Monet? A: A half-blind artist who liked gardens.

Q: Why do you think we research Monet? A: Because he made a lot of money.

Q: Why do we research previous artists in art? A: Because if we looked at historians we would be learning history.

CR, Plymouth

I had my Year 7 class designing puppets inspired by Lewis Carroll’s nonsense verse, Jabberwocky. Imaginative interpretations of the Bandersnatch and the Jub Jub bird were carefully mounted on bamboo poles.

Alas, I should have foreseen the chaos – with the poem’s references to foes and fighting and a classroom full of bamboo poles, several re-enactments of the ‘vorpal blade’ going ‘snicker-snack’ ensued!

Theresa, West Sussex

The things pupils say

On my teaching placement I took a group of reception children into the woods around the school grounds. I was trying to get the children to guess why the spider in our bug viewfinder might be large. Though I knew it wasn’t pregnant I tried to promote this idea by asking the children: “If it is not male, what is it?” to which one boy immediately answered: “A werewolf”!

Frankie, Bromley

Next issue: A funny thing happened in music. Send us your anecdotes from music lessons and concerts by Monday 11 October.

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