No, really!

At a planning meeting at my college, I congratulated

a colleague on producing some superb student-guidance notes to combat plagiarism. “How long did it take you to write them?” I asked. “Oh, not long,” he replied.

“I copied them from another university’s website.”

Bob Wheeler, Lacock, Wiltshire

› I met up with a friend

who has retired to

Anglesey. “How are you spending your time?” I asked. “Prince William has

started training at RAF Valley, so I’ve been tidying my garden for when he flies over,” she said.

Sarah Samuels,

Rossett, Wrexham

› While playing 20

Questions with my friend, I asked, “Monsters or aliens?” She gave it some thought, then responded, “Well…I’ve never actually met a monster, so I’m going to have to go with aliens.”

from mylifeisaverage.com

your true-life tales

› A confused women, overheard at the dinosaur exhibit in Animal Kingdom Theme

Park, Florida: “How could they know the names of all those dinosaurs if they died 75 million years ago? In fact, how do we even know they were called dinosaurs?”

Megan Lloyd

› My nephew and his family live in

Switzerland. When they visited the UK,

I asked his daughter, “Quel âge as-tu?” “Three,” she replied. “I don’t speak

French.” B Burbidge, Fetcham, Surrey

I WORK IN A DIY SHOP and we get some odd requests from puzzled customers. Recently, I was approached by a woman holding two different kinds of nail. “I’m looking for the sort of nail that would result,” she said, “if these two fell in love and had babies.”

Sadie Gillies, Egham, Surrey

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