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Staffroom confidential

A funny thing happened... during our inspection

Our last Ofsted inspection didn’t get off to the best start when, on the first morning, one of our teaching assistants reversed into the lead inspector’s car in the staff car park. Fortunately I don’t think he held it against us. Despite the large dent and smashed tail-light, we were graded ‘good with outstanding features’.
Jane, by email

Knowing our Ofsted inspection was coming up, I practised my delivery with a Year 13 literature class. I launched into the lesson, much more conscious of my speech than usual, taking time over my introduction, articulating everything very carefully.
A hand shot up. “Are you going to talk in that stupid voice when the Ofsted inspector’s here?”
Theresa, West Sussex

Last year during our modern foreign languages inspection, I asked the children what new vocabulary they had learnt and to share it with a partner. During feedback, one of my more confident boys shouted out: “I’ve learnt a new phrase! Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?” (We were learning about farm animals!)
I ‘professionally’ brushed off his contribution. Luckily the inspector saw the funny side.
Sona, Milton Keynes

My earliest years in teaching were spent in Scotland. It was the pre-decimal era and my primary school class had been learning what we called the ‘dozens rule’ in arithmetic.
The inspector asked the children:
“If I spend two shillings for a dozen rubbers, how much does one rubber cost?
Charlie, the most intellectually challenged pupil, shot up his hand and excitedly announced: “Tuppence!”
“Good lad! Now come out and tell us all how you worked that out.”
Charlie gave the inspector a look of incredulity. “Rubbers is aye tuppence.” (Rubbers are always tuppence.)
Aileen, Sheffield

After observing an assembly, the inspector asked one of my Year 2 pupils what it had been about.
“Why, weren’t you listening?” was the little girl’s priceless response.
Gary, By email

Next issue: A funny thing happened in our school play. Send us your anecdotes by Monday 25 January.


The things pupils say

While training, I was asked to assist a reception class. On the wall was a display about growing and minibeasts.
One child looked at it, intrigued. “Why are there bulbs underground?” she asked.
I explained that plants and flowers can grow from them. She replied: “I don’t think that’s why. I think they help the worms to see.”
Hayley, Kent


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