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Wedding Bliss
Many women dream of a perfect wedding from childhood. But
as this blushing bride quickly learns, planning a wedding is far
from easy — especially when the military has a say!
I
n 1964, I was a shiny new lieuten- The reception was — well,
ant in the offi ce of the Naval Comman- I’ve given more elegant par-
dant in Washington, D.C., while my ties to welcome my cat home
fi ancé, Ward, toiled in a Polish language from the vet. Six balloons and
course at the Defense Language Institute two candles do not create a
in Monterey, Calif. After his graduation, festival bridal air. However,
Ward would report to the Pentagon, I’d it was all I had time for, and
stay at my job, and we’d leisurely plan our even Martha Stewart could
spring wedding. not have given a festive glow
But instead of ordering Ward to the to my effi ciency apartment.
Pentagon, the Navy assigned him to With my slim budget, Sey-
Bremerhaven, Germany. There were no mour, the local convenience
billets for women in Germany. And, for my store owner, provided a bowl
household goods to be transported at the of potato chips and a fl at,
government’s expense, we’d have to rush pale sheet cake the consis-
to get married. tency of Twinkies. There had
With Ward cramming for his fi nal exams been more refi nement at the
before his cross-country dash to Washing- grand opening of the local
ton, D.C., I suddenly was solely responsible landfi ll! At least I had champagne.
for our wedding plans. What did I know Unfortunately, there isn’t a picture of
about weddings? I knew about port and this refi nement because I forgot to hire a
starboard, the military Code of Conduct, photographer. Actually, I’m grateful there’s
and how to spit-shine shoes. Ward was even no picture of us: Ward in a brown (!) suit
worse. While on the phone, instead of dis- — where was his uniform? — and me in my
cussing music for our ceremony, all he did wedding dress that fi t as tight as sausage
was mumble — conjugating Polish verbs! casing and had two-inch thick brocade.
Would he conjugate his wedding vows? Two days later, as we raced through the
My next problem erupted when I tele- airport, the latch on our suitcase broke. A
phoned my invitations. (There was no magazine vendor came to the rescue with
time for printed ones.) No one wanted to a hemp cord. It looked fragile, but it stayed
come to the wedding — not even the Navy securely knotted throughout our long jour-
chaplain. Everyone hemmed and hawed, ney — as has the marriage knot we tied in
and I grew concerned — until one friend such confusion and chaos 44 years ago! MO
confi ded I’d scheduled the ceremony
during the hallowed Army-Navy football
—Barbara Bradlyn Morris is a former
game. Everyone fi nally accepted when I
Navy lieutenant. She now is an author and
delayed the ceremony four hours. freelance writer.
80 MILITARY OFFICER AUGUST 2008 ILLUSTRATION: ELWOOD SMITH
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