p.10 misfit 6:FOOTWEAR NEW TEMPLAT 10 08 20/05/2009 12:11 Page 10
MISFIT
you realise why they come up so many odd decisions.
They really are on a different planet.
My researches into the way the new aristocracy
Misfit
dress have gone further. The men are expected to
wear black shoes, witness the amount of publicity
Ken Clarke’s Hush Puppies have received. Hush
Puppies, for heaven’s sake! You would think he was
going around in pink thigh boots with bells on. Then
there is Theresa May who was brave enough to wear
a pair of leopard-skin print courts which has resulted
in her being put beyond the political fashion pale. She
might not get elected next time because of those
shoes. The hussy even has a Russell and Bromley
discount card. Wow!
Now my morning paper has a front page picture of
Famous footwear
Carla Bruni-Sarkozi, who runs France, with a lady
called Letitzia who is married to the Crown Prince of
Spain. The pair was pictured from behind walking up
some steps, making their soles clearly visible, and it
is evident that both pairs of shoes were brand new. It
could be that these girls spend their lives walking on
W
e had a visit from our M.P. last week. With a freshly vacuumed red carpets which must severely
general election looming over the horizon I reduce the wear and tear on their soles, but
suppose he thought it would be a good idea even so….
to go and appear among the electors but as a I have been told, Michelle Obama always has her
counterproductive exercise this one took the biscuit.
SHOES CAN BE USED
hairdresser within reach, and did not Cherie Blair fly
He was quite taken aback when I raised the out hers when she went to the land without
question, quite politely I am sad to say, of business
FOR ALL SORTS OF
hairdressers called California? By inference, if the
rates and what we get in return, but deftly passed the hair of first ladies has to be freshly done each day,
hot potato to the local council. Fortunately for him
THINGS, AS
then their shoes must be forever new.
one of our best customers came in at that moment, The imagination boggles yet again. The average
so he is still alive. After his exit said customer CINDERELLA FOUND; time it takes for us to sell a pair of our quite ordinary
expressed surprise at my self-control. One of our shoes to our quite ordinary lady customers is some
rules is that we keep politics and religion out of the SURELY THERE IS twenty minutes, so how much of these high-class
shop but what can you do when it walks in uninvited?
When the apparition had departed everyone on our
SOMEONE OUT THERE
ladies’ time is spent trying on shoes? And what
happens once the State Visit or Summit is over? Do
small parade compared notes. The consensus was
that the man is on a higher plane than we mortals.
WHO WOULD
they go back to the shop saying they haven’t worn
them – a tactic not unknown in these parts, or do the
The chemist had spent the previous evening with
petty cash slips and receipts spread over her dining
WELCOME THE
shoes go into an Imelda Marcus type collection?
A whole new gamut of possibilities opens up. Some
room table trying to sort out her expenses at the
behest of her accountant who assured her the Inland
CHANCE TO SIP
enterprising charity could arrange to collect the
discarded shoes to stock an exclusive shop, the
Revenue might want to go through them with one of
their toothcombs. She naturally felt that the M.P.
CHAMPAGNE OUT OF
unique selling proposition being that the customer,
for a modest outlay, can step into the shoes of the
would welcome a debate on the matter of expenses
A SHOE THAT HAD
famous. Maybe such shoes get auctioned for charity,
but he very charmingly confessed he had a lot of calls like David Beckham’s shirt. I suppose there must be a
to make, maybe some other time?
ONCE HAD A FAMOUS
certain cachet in having a pair of shoes worn by Carla
The car dealer noticed the way he was dressed, Bruni, whatever the cost.
something I confess had not registered on my radar.
FOOT IN IT?
Possibly whoever buys them would not want the
The man was wearing black oxfords, a navy pin stripe shoes for wearing but to decorate their home,
suit, a pale blue shirt and a plain blue tie. So what? I displayed like works of art or as a conversational ice-
queried, at which he told me to look around. Was I breaker. After all, museums collect famous peoples’
dressed like that? Were my customers? Was anyone? shoes — I have seen Napoleon’s somewhere — so why
I realised what he was getting at. No one, not even can’t they go into private collections? There are
doctors and accountants, wear clothes like that any things on the walls of Tate Modern less deserving of
more. Possibly bankers in the City wear suits, but the exhibition than a finely constructed pair of courts.
less said about them the better. Certainly the people Shoes can be used for all sorts of things, as
behind the glass in our local bank branch don’t any Cinderella found; surely there is someone out there
more. He was telling us by the way that he was who would welcome the chance to sip champagne
dressed that he was superior to us, possibly out of a shoe that had once had a famous foot in it?
subconsciously, but he was. And talking of uses, not long ago I wrote about the
This has led me to look at pictures of the great and market opening up in shoes designed for throwing at
good and study their appearance. The men all wear people. Now the AGM of a Belgian company called
suits and so do most of the women, if not an actual Fortis was interrupted when the shareholders
suit, then a very conservative dress. bombarded the board with shoes.
Of course they are all conformists — it’s what being And you thought my imagination was running away
a member of a party is all about, but it does make with me!
12
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FOOTWEAR TODAY
•
JUNE/JULY 2009
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